Finding Our Footing Through Grief

By Lisa Weatherford

Hi everyone!  I know, I just kind of vanished for a while, but as I sit here writing this, I am reflecting on a very busy year!

Let me take a moment to update everyone. Dad

Dad is still on hospice.  He has lost so much weight.  He is down to 130 pounds.  He is now having his meals in the back dining room.  I know how that sounds, but in this dining room it is quiet, and he gets the extra help he needs at meal time.  He also gets more finger food items because he no longer understands what utensils are or how to use them.  It is hard to get him to eat a full meal most of the time now. Dad is falling a lot and he often just mumbles or doesn’t know who we are.  His doctor tells us that he feels dad has weeks left at this point. So, with all of this information, every time the phone rings we can’t help but think is this THE call.

 

We have had lots of firsts without Mom. Celebrations like her first birthday, Mother’s Day, and Christmas have been difficult. I didn’t even put up any Christmas decorations this year.

Grave

If we are being honest, our family is still in the grieving process. Sometimes you feel like you’re in a good place in life and moving along without any hiccups. Suddenly, something will come along and bring Mom’s memory back into focus.  The only thing you can do is just go with it.  Let the tears flow and just remember.

I decided to end my career as a Surgical Technologist during the summer.  I scrubbed for 17 years.  Lately, I have been working at Starbucks, which is very different. Sadly, I’ve been out of work since November 11th due to a fracture of my fibula in the ankle area.  That has been painful, but it didn’t require surgery nor a cast. I’m just in an ankle brace and I go back for a follow up this month.

The New Year will be full of its own share of excitement and disappointments.  Yet, we will do what we always do; rally together and get through the hard times and celebrate the good times.

Collage

Collage 2

So much has changed that I’m not sure if I’ll blog again soon or not.  I’m at a point that I feel my blog is about grief and sadness.  I feel like I’m blogging the same topics over and over.  If you wish for me to continue or have an idea for a new topic, let me know in the comments.

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!

-Lisa