A Ministry for Fatherless Daughters

By Chaunte McClure

Admittedly, I am a pro at ‘crastinating and no, I’m not proud of it. I often say procrastinating is my strongest weakness, but hey, I eventually get around to doing what I set out to achieve.

Back in 2015, in the post Why I Wasn’t Aborted, I shared with you that I was interested in starting a blog to reach out to fatherless girls and women. It’s a desire that I’ve had for several years because of my personal story of being a fatherless daughter. I really didn’t have the time to devote to it while I was trying to complete seminary.

Now that I’ve accomplished that mission, I am pleased to finally inform you that in January I launched my personal blog, Say That, Girl!, to finally speak out about fatherlessness. There I share some of the most intimate moments of my life to help fatherless daughters begin to uncover their pain, release their shame, embrace forgiveness and learn to love (their fathers and themselves).

Chaunte McClure blogger

So far, the response has been great and women are contacting me to say thank you and to share how they relate to my posts.

Fatherless daughters come in all shapes, sizes, and colors and from various socioeconomic backgrounds. The common denominator among us is that we lack a relationship with our biological father because he is either absent, unattached or unavailable.

One purpose of the blog is to help us recognize the impact fatherlessness has on our lives so that the effects don’t become lifelong issues.

This is the beginning of a movement for me that will develop into other avenues for ministry and as a fatherless daughter advocate, I will follow God’s lead to spread the message and bring awareness to an epidemic (fatherlessness) that has swept this country.Say That Girl blog on laptop and tablet

Feel free to follow me on the Say That, Girl! blog, my latest ministry venture.

Are you a fatherless daughter? If so, what makes you a fatherless daughter?

Unfortunately

By: Chaunte McClure

Last Sunday was Father’s Day, and while some daughters were planning get-togethers, deciding what to buy Dad, or where to take him, there were also daughters (and sons) who were dreading the day’s arrival. Why? Because their father is absent, unavailable or unattached and they knew that day, like every day, would be a fatherless day.

According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, 24 million children live without their biological father in the home. While some of them may have a relationship with their biological father, most of them don’t and the effects are alarming.

A few weeks ago I participated in a workshop for fatherless girls, where I shared my story of being a fatherless daughter. Through tears, I saw pain and through the words, I heard the pain loud and clear, coming from girls, mostly teens, who lack a relationship with their dads. When the facilitator asked one participant if her father is still living, her response: “Unfortunately.”

Unfortunately, too many children share this heart-rending sentiment. As a matter of fact, many adults do too.

It’s girls and women like these that I long to reach out to help. I was that angry little girl once and for years, she lived in me as an adult. Fortunately, in my twenties, I recognized her character and decided I didn’t want that angry little girl having a negative impact on my life, and as result, the life of others any longer. It is a journey, but a journey worth taking when that means having a more peaceful, purposeful life and bringing others along to join you on the journey to love, acceptance and forgiveness.

Though it does not fill the void, I usually honor someone on Father’s Day whether it’s a family member or someone I know and respect.

If you are a fatherless daughter, how do you respond to Father’s Day?

P.S. I’ve used the term fatherless daughter here, but I do understand that everyone has a biological father, but not everyone has the privilege to know their father or emotionally connect with him.

Why I Wasn’t Aborted

By: Chaunte McClure

When I learned of the opportunity to write for Lexington Medical Center’s Every Woman Blog, I remember thinking, this will be a great platform to encourage and inspire women. Over the past year and a half, I’ve tried to do just that. Not every post has been inspirational, and that was intentional, because I believe we should make room for fun, laughter and practicality.

crayonsIt is my desire to make a difference in the lives of others – women, men, boys and girls. However, there is a special place in my heart for women and girls, and particularly those who have an unavailable, unattached or absent father.

I believe any unpleasant experience we have in life should be used for good. When you grow and heal, those negative experiences should help others do the same.

After a recent experience, I was reminded of a moment in my childhood when I asked myself, “Why didn’t mama abort me?” This was during a time in my life when I didn’t know who I was and I didn’t understand why I existed. And an obvious observation from that question: I wished I hadn’t existed.

That was then. I thank God for wisdom and maturity because along the way I’ve developed an understanding that I have a purpose. I’m no longer trapped inside the mind of a confused little girl trying to understand why I live. Now I just want to live freely and share the story that for most of my life I was ashamed of because I realize there are so many other women who are living with shame and there’s a broken little girl still trapped inside her.

In a sermon on Sunday, I heard a young minister say, “Broken crayons still color, broken people are still blessed.” I want to encourage fatherless little girls that broken crayons still color and I want to encourage fragile, fatherless women that broken people are still blessed. Better yet, I want them to know that God can mend them, but it’s a journey.

For more than 20 years I was broken and it wasn’t until I was in my early twenties when I recognized that all the anger, rebellion, bitterness and sadness inside of me stemmed from my fatherless experience. It was when I was about 27 that I decided that I was ready to put it all behind me.

There are women in their forties, fifties and sixties – and maybe even older – who have yet to recognize why they do some of the things they do and say some of the things they say. I want to begin the journey of love, acceptance and forgiveness with them.

Now I can answer that little girl’s question: Why didn’t mama abort me? I can’t speak for my mama, but I understand that I’m vessel God is using to reach generations of broken people.

One of the ways I want to inspire others is through a personal blog for fatherless daughters. I’ve been toiling for months trying to decide what to call this blog. I’d love your help with coming up with a name for it. Will you? I have a short list of ideas, but maybe your creativity runs deeper than mine. Remember, it’s for young ladies and women, and it will be a place for healing, nurturing and restoration. Leave me a comment with your suggestion.

Oh, and I’ll still remain an Every Woman blogger 🙂