Remember the Net-lace

By: Chaunte McClure

Many of us have dreams, goals, and desires and most of us will work to fulfill them. In the process, we might want to relinquish our efforts because of heartaches, illnesses, disappointments, slothfulness, and even death. I’ve experienced all those setbacks on my journey to earning a master of divinity degree, but I never quit; although there were many
moments when I was ready for the journey to end. I kept my focus on the end —graduation and the opportunities God has lined up for me. With just a few more weeks of
reading and writing assignments, I’ll finally graduate in May. Had I quit, I wouldn’t be turning the tassel during next month’s ceremony.

Dawn Staley, the head basketball coach for the women’s basketball team, shared a similar message with thousands of fans and other supporters who gathered in downtown Columbia Sunday for the team’s welcome home parade and national championship celebration. (Yes, the Gamecocks are NCAA basketball champions! Go Cocks!) The championship is a first for the University of South Carolina women’s basketball team and a first for Coach Staley. They had their almost-made-it moments, but on Sunday, April 2, they garnered a national championship title. Coach could’ve lost hope in 2016 after not making it past the Final Four. The team could’ve given up in the fourth quarter against Mississippi State, but they stayed focused, played well until the end and had the privilege of cutting the net. Coach Staley proudly wears that net, affectionately referred to as her net-lace, around her neck. To anyone who has a belief or hope, she urged them on Sunday during her speech to “take a piece of our net and reflect on what we were able to accomplish.” If you want to earn a degree, remember the net-lace. If you want to earn your high school diploma, remember the net. If you want a promotion, remember the net. Whatever you are seeking, dreaming or hoping for, don’t forget about the net. It’s a reminder that yes, you can.

Click here to watch Coach Staley’s inspirational remarks.

As a former student at the University of South Carolina, I remember when just a handful of fans supported the women’s basketball team on game nights and you could sit wherever you wanted. Now, the Colonial Life Arena is packed with loyal fans who purchase season tickets and next year they’ll watch national champions take it to the hoop. I’m proud of the program’s growth and I look forward to watching Gamecocks play in seasons to come. I am forever to thee.

Leading Ladies

By: Chaunte McClure

With Women’s History Month coming to a close and the Gamecocks destroying brackets, I’m torn about what to write this week. I feel it’s necessary to at least acknowledge Women’s History Month and salute all the wonderful past and present, known and unknown women for their contributions to culture, history and society. Influential women like Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Ava DuVernay, Helen Keller, Harriet Tubman, Shirley Chisholm, Marilyn Monroe and countless others across the nation. I have to  also salute the talented University of South Carolina’s women’s basketball team.

The women’s team has made their way to the Elite Eight and the men secured a spot in the Final Four. What a great time to be a Gamecock!

Last week I wondered what it must feel like to be a USC student during these winning streaks. I’d imagine it would be quadruple the excitement experienced when I was student somewhere around 1996 or 1997 when the men’s team beat Kentucky. (That’s been a while, so hopefully I got that right. If not, sports enthusiasts and diehard fans, please, don’t attack me.) I was living in Capstone at the time and I remember students TP’d the trees in front of the dorm. What a mess for the grounds team to clean up the next morning. Surely the thrill from that win in the late 90s doesn’t compare to what students are experiencing now with two winning basketball teams. Hats off to both teams for a job well done. I’m bracing myself for tonight’s game when the Lady Gamecocks take on Florida State and hopefully they’ll advance to the Final Four for the second time in three years. Let’s go Gamecocks! Women’s History Month is a good time to do it again.

Married to Technology

By: Chaunte McClure

Despite having a never-ending to-do list, I always seem to, unfortunately, make time for social media. Why is this thing so darn addictive? I attended a marketing conference in February and in a social media session, the presenter stated teens check social media 100 times per day. A hundred! One zero zero. I shared that number with a colleague, who is a baby boomer, and his response was “No way!” Yes way. I’m far from being a teenager, but using myself for comparison, I knew that was realistic.

There are days when I’m constantly grabbing my phone, not because someone’s calling me, but I’m somehow drawn to accessing a social media app or two, or three. I can be in the middle of reading or writing then my mind, and my hand following will gravitate to my phone. Thankfully, sometimes I realize what I’ve done and I immediately place the phone back down and force myself to focus on my current task.

I wish I had a counter on my phone that tracked the number of times I access my phone. Is there an app for that? Maybe cell phones should come with this on a warning labels: This device is habit forming. But is it the phone or the apps? You can’t have one without the other, unless of course you have a tablet. This perfection union between mobile devices and apps has countless humans married to technology and the level of commitment is astounding.

How can you translate the commitment to your smartphone to your marriage? To God? To your family? To self-improvement? Or any other area in your life that’s receiving less attention because more of your attention is devoted to technology?

Expect separation anxiety, similar to what you experience when you misplace, leave, or damage your device. However, the greater rewards of stronger relationships and a better you are priceless.

How much time do you spend on social media? What will you do with that amount of time?

On Being a Caregiver

By: Chaunte McClure

At some point in life I realized that one day I will have to care for my mom, but I honestly never considered the day I’d care for one of her siblings. That’s been my reality for the past 11 months. About a week after I turned 40, my 50-something-year-old aunt suffered a stroke while visiting my sister.

caregiver

I was sitting nervously, waiting to give a presentation in my African American Church class. Then my phone vibrated and I saw my sister’s name displaying. I knew she was aware that I had class, so I thought she must really need me. The conversation went something like this when I stepped out of the classroom to answer:

“We’ve called the paramedics for Aunt Jane,” she said.

Doing my best not to panic, I calmly asked, “What happened?”

After she explained my aunt’s symptoms, I told her to keep me posted and I’d head to the hospital after my presentation. That wasn’t soon enough. It’s not easy to keep track of time during emergency situations, but what seemed like about 20 minutes later, my phone vibrated again. This time I heard a very concerned voice almost begging me to get to the hospital. My aunt had coded.

My classmates were taking too long to present. I finally interrupted and explained that I had a family emergency. My professor excused me and began to pray before I could even exit the classroom.

Thankfully, the hospital was only about two miles from my location. I hurried in to comfort her daughter who rode in the ambulance with her mom, my aunt.

After asking more questions when I arrived, finally, the staff rolled my aunt’s weak body back into the emergency room.

She was admitted into the hospital and stayed there just a few days before going to a rehabilitation services provider for a few weeks. Still needing additional therapy, because she lost mobility on her right side, we found an inpatient rehabilitation facility with 24-hour skilled nursing care. After about three months there, her care became our full responsibility.

While I was trying to be fabulous at 40, I was also 40 and worn out at times. We’ve been a caregiver team, but the responsibility is still challenging. From organizing meds, to coordinating medical appointments, to understanding insurance, to running errands and doing chores – it can all become taxing, especially when we each have our own personal responsibilities.

If you ever become a caregiver, here are few tips to help keep you from getting overwhelmed:

  • Make sure each caregiver is carrying his or her load. That takes the burden off one person. You can’t do it all by yourself.
  • Take time for yourself. While caring for others is important, self-care is equally important.
  • Organize your responsibilities. Choose what tasks or chores will be done on specific days and by whom.
  • Seek outside resources. Consider hiring someone to do what you can’t or ask responsible family members and friends.

To protect her privacy, my aunt is referred to as Jane in this story.

Unrealistic Expectations?

By: Chaunte McClure 

Sun will come out tomorrow

With conviction, I watched an update to a news story from last fall about a young mother who allegedly put her infant in a dumpster. In between late afternoon breaking news and the evening newscast, I occasionally wondered what would drive someone to make that decision. Shame, rape, manipulation, fear, a breakup, depression, and high expectations were among my speculations. The one that brought conviction to my heart was high expectations. Can fear of disappointing an influential leader force one to make a poor decision or even withhold information?

I’ve had the privilege of mentoring and teaching many young ladies over the years – including family. I always want the best for them in every aspect of their lives, and share with them mistakes I’ve made in hopes that they won’t make the same ones. I am confident that they want to make me, their parents, their teachers, themselves and others proud, but I wonder if we apply too much pressure? Actually, this is personal; I wonder if I apply too much pressure. In my conversations with these young ladies, have I left any room for error? Have I failed to teach God’s grace? Have I put myself on a pedestal and  made them feel like they can’t reach me?

As I grieved for the baby and the young mother in that news story, I wondered whether any of those young ladies believe they have to “hide” because they think they’ll disappoint me or perhaps they think I’ll be judgmental. I can’t deny the disappointment, but I will love the same. I didn’t have a perfect young life. I don’t have a perfect not-so-young life.

I think part of my problem is I want to be everybody’s savior. There have been times when I’ve felt like I’ve failed when a mentee does wrong, but I had to realize that I can’t be with her 24 hours a day and I can’t make anyone do right. On the other hand, I certainly don’t want to lead anyone to do wrong.

Is this just self condemnation or do we set the bar too high?

Pneumonia Weather

By: Chaunte McClure

One sure way to strike up a conversation is to talk about the weather. With this spring-like weather in the dead of winter here lately, it’s easy to do. I love it, although I have a few sweaters and scarves I haven’t worn yet. However, it’s nice when I can take a late afternoon stroll in the park without a sweatshirt, gloves or jacket.

Every Woman Blog - Pneumonia Weather

All the creepy crawlies must be confused. One weekend it’s snowing and the next it’s 78 degrees. This weather blows humans’ minds, too. That’s why you’ll likely find a photo on your timeline of a friend’s dashboard displaying today’s temperature. Grandma would call this pneumonia weather – when the weather goes from one extreme to the other and back again. Cold, hot, cold. I know some of you are bold enough to argue with Grandma and say the weather doesn’t make you sick, but uh ruh, nudge, nudge. Grandma is always right!

Let’s call this season “spwinter” – a combination of spring and winter. The time of year when you can wear shorts, flip-flops and wool coats in one week. And when you can light the fireplace and turn on the AC during the same week. Hey, we could have blistering cold weather like my friends in Washington and Wisconsin are experiencing. I’d say I’m happy to call South Carolina home, despite the pneumonia weather.

Back-to-Work Blues

By: Chaunte McClure 

How many of you spent Sunday evening dreading the fact that you had to go back to work this week? I wasn’t exactly dreading it, but the extra hours snugged in bed for the past week were much appreciated, and I’m not opposed to having more of those opportunities.

back to work blues

Remember how the week before Christmas you could hardly wait for your week off to begin so you could complete your Christmas shopping, run last minute errands, leave for vacation or just enjoy some time off? Then in seven, six, five, four, three two, one . . . it was time to prepare your mind for your normal routine of waking up to an early morning alarm and pressing snooze time after time before finally making your way to the bathroom.

With the rain pounding on the roof Tuesday morning, that made getting up a little harder, but I rolled out of bed, determined to get to work on time. I knew wet roads meant a higher possibility of accidents and traffic delays, so I made sure I had extra time for my morning commute.

With about eight minutes to spare, before walking into the building to unlock my office door for the first time since 2016, I skimmed my timeline and read a few posts from friends who had back-to-work blues. I think most of them started sharing days-off memes as early as last Thursday as the week gradually ended.

I survived the first day back in the office after the holiday break. I had meetings the first half of the day and I spent the second half responding to requests. Let’s see how these next three work days of the new year pan out.