Easy Come, Easy Go…Does Not Apply Within the Diet World!

By Marianna Boyce

I texted an accountability update to my sister before church recently.  With ten more pounds to lose, I’m still pleased with my current weight of 145 pounds.  Cindy constantly makes me laugh, so I thought I’d pass a smile onto you.  The screenshots of our conversation are quite comical, but they certainly ring true for most of us.  Her spontaneous ending remark is credited with renaming this blog post.

When Every Woman Blog published my post, “New Year…New You…No Dieting,a couple of months ago, a coworker and sweet friend shared it with others.  What Neya didn’t share was that she implemented this plan for herself.  She was a sneaky secret keeper—until she couldn’t hide it any longer.

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A few weeks into the new year, I noticed she was losing weight.  Unbeknownst to me, she was following some of the tidbits of advice I gave in my first blog post of 2019.  She chose the “My Net Diary” app instead of “Lose It.”  We are having a ton of fun on our journey so far, but when our calorie intake exceeds our limit, we agree it is detrimental to our psyche.  Nothing can be done once the choice has been made to eat the burger, fries, chocolate cake—or all three.  Other than laughing about it, our secret is moving on and making better choices the remainder of the day.

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Neya is a beautiful new mom.  After sweet baby Mason was born, she weighed in at 234 pounds.  Having lost twelve pounds since the first of the year, she currently weighs in at 222 pounds.

For every good weight loss plan, there is an exercise program to match.  Being young and vibrant, Neya is signing up for a gym membership.  I’m so proud of her for taking steps to improve her mental and physical well-being.  A healthy mama is a happy mama.

Regrettably, I approach exercise from a different angle.  In the past, I always enjoyed a challenging workout, but now shudder at the thought of it.  Rheumatoid arthritis and similar illnesses take a toll on the human body.  Exhaustion and pain typically rule the day.  My pain levels are now mostly tolerable, but I cannot subject my joints to workouts I accomplished in the past.  Since daylight savings time has ended, my plan is to simply enjoy an evening walk in my neighborhood at least three times a week.

It’s not as easy as it used to be, but I resolve losing the last ten pesky pounds one small step at at time.  Doing something is better than nothing at all.

I will update you on our journey in a future post.  Hopefully, we will be reporting positive results.  How are your health and wellness goals?  Do you need a fresh start?  There’s no shame if you do.  It’s never a “one size fits all” situation.  Simply do what’s best for you!

Refocus, rebalance, restart—because you’re worth it! 

Get Out of Jail, but Don’t Pass Go

By Lisa Baker

Mom has been discharged from the hospital to a rehabilitation facility.  She will be here for 20 days.  We hope at that time, she will be able to return to the assisted living facility she had been at before her hospital stay.

IMG950063I talk about my parents and their facilities, but there are many families out there who aren’t able to afford any facility.  They often hold full-time jobs outside of the home and come home to care for their loved one for the remainder of the day and evening.  These people often are married, have children and a home of their own that needs tending. It isn’t easy to care for a dementia patient. Sometimes they don’t eat or drink.  Often, they refuse to bathe.  They sometimes will sleep all day only to be up all night.  They try to do the things they used to do when they were younger such as cooking, except now they forget they turned the stovetop on, or that the milk goes in the refrigerator and not the pantry.

The caregiver in this type of situation is spread very thin. They are trying to juggle way too many balls. They need help and are way too tired and short of time to find help. Often, they don’t have the extra funds to be able to use a facility or hire extra help to come inside the home.  In this type of situation, it’s even harder for the caregiver to take care of themself.

FB_IMG_1534039807489In fact, at a Teepa Snow conference for the positive approach to care, she told us that it is important that you have a group of trusted helpers to care for your loved one.  You can’t do it alone and take care of yourself.

For now, Dad is doing OK.  He still tries to get out of the door every chance he gets.  He also still stumbles over his words.  Many times just saying, “blah blah blah blah” as if he is really saying words.  I have many times thought surely at some point our lives will settle down when they get used to their new homes.  Now, I don’t think our lives will ever settle down.  There will always be something with them whether it’s another UTI or behavior issues that require a medication change. Things will only settle down when they are gone. Then, we will miss them terribly.

Sorry folks, I’m still realizing that we lose an important part of them each day. There is such a huge difference in them now and even one year ago.

In closing, check out this last picture.  It gives you some ways to take care of your brain. Until next time, make memories!

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Confidence Builder

By Shannon Boatwright

One of my very favorite things in life is witnessing another individual gain confidence.

Inspiring others has always been part of my drive as a performer, producer, director, as a human in general, and certainly as a teacher. Right up there with inspiring others is seeing someone’s confidence grow and shine before your very eyes as a result of your own influence. Being a teacher definitely gives me an open sea of opportunity to attempt to build confidence in the young adolescents I have the honor of teaching.

lights-951000_1920The past two weeks I’ve been holding auditions for my honors drama program. I see tons of kids come in busting at the seams with nervous energy. Sometimes their nervous energy is crippling, creating a bumbling mess that physically renders them unable to speak straight, stand straight, or even think straight.  I make it my mission, whether there’s outstanding talent present or not, to create an environment that makes them feel comfortable. I truly make major efforts to let them know I’m on their side. I want them to shine and enjoy the moment, just like they do when they’re privately practicing the art they’re intrigued with.

We all are superstars in the comfort of our own homes, cars, or showers. We work it and envision ourselves just like the celebrities we idolize on the big screen. When we’re in our own space wrapped up in our intrigue and passion, we let it go, shine, and rock it out with everything we’ve got, so why is it when most of us get in front of others, or in particular situations, we suddenly become unable to produce anything even close to worthy of sharing our passion, much less our talent? We all have the potential. Again, whether true skill is present or not, we have the potential to let loose and share our love for whatever art form fills us up. However, it’s difficult for a hardcore, nervous person to truly have fun in the moment that they’re auditioning for anything.  It’s real life. It’s nerves. It’s utter fear in some cases.

Confidence - Own it

Whenever I’m able to actually provide comfort and encouragement for someone to shine, whether on a small or large level, it’s truly a priceless and beautiful thing to witness if that person’s confidence comes forth. To see an individual reach a level in which they feel OK, capable, successful, and self-assured, is a lovely thing to witness – sometimes so much so that it’s a real heart filling moment that brings honest joy.

I had a young man come in to audition and he obviously had a spark about him. He had pizazz. It was in him, and I could see that he knew he could do it, but he had not had the time to memorize his monologue and the memorization part was totally holding him back. I could even tell he was trying to improvise his way through the monologue but just got hung up on flat out not remembering the words. He began saying, “I can’t do it, I just can’t do it…” I couldn’t tell if it was part of the monologue or him actually giving up. I had to ask, “What’s happening here?” With tears in his eyes, he proceeded to declare, “I just can’t do drama; I couldn’t memorize it!” I then asked him how long he’d had the monologue, in which he replied he’d just gotten it that day. Which means he’d memorized half of the long monologue in a very short amount of time and even seemed to capture the character as well. I applauded him on doing as well as he did in such a short amount of time and let him know I could tell that he was talented, totally capable of doing this monologue, and that I was going to need to see him do his thing! I let him hold the script in his hands, gave him direction and had him re-audition. The kid proceeded to nail it. He connected with the camera, he showed character and in turn felt great about it. Due to my encouragement, he was able to share his love for acting and give a really great audition. I was able to watch a child’s confidence literally soar right before my very eyes. Priceless.

Spread Confidence

It just goes to show that if you respond to others positively and provide a little encouragement, you can really help another individual shine. The really beautiful thing is that as I dedicate time towards building confidence in others, my own confidence grows. Being a confidence builder is a priceless thing. How do you help build confidence in others? What elements help to build your own confidence?

30 Years Ago…

By Shannon Boatwright

“In one year, 1990 will be 30 years ago.”

Let that thought settle…

If you’re my age, a child of the 70s (or older), really thinking about this fact will make you speechless. I still think of my Mama as being in her 30s, and I’m still in my 20s, and my sisters are still preteens. When I think 30 years ago, I think of it being the late 60s, maybe 1970.

I mean, come on! How does life go by so fast?!

In 1990, I was a freshman in high school. I teach middle school now, and these adolescents I teach think that the 90s were the ancient days way before they were ever born. Mention the 70s to those kids and they look at you like you’re crazy – to them the 1970s are prehistoric.

When I saw this quote:

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it certainly hit me hard, and it hit me during a time when aging had started to really hit me and my comrades of the 70s. My bestie and I had been texting commiserating about how suddenly hormones and age are creating weight gain and a whole host of problems for us, and it’s more frustrating than words could ever express. In the real world for hard working, incredibly busy people, it’s a huge endeavor to be healthy and fit. Huge.

At times, it’s mind blowing, totally disturbing, and flat out ridiculous the things that happen to your body as you get older: things that you never had to worry about when you were younger. You have kids, yet you still feel like a kid in your own mind, but your body is taking you on a roller coaster ride of ailments. It’s just NOT FAIR. And yes, I say that as I stomp my feet like a toddler.

My parents and I were having a discussion with my kids the other night about the first time we ever used the internet. I was a junior in college the first time I ever sent an email! Can you believe I survived the main bulk of my education career without the internet?! I mean, to today’s generation, that is unfathomable. All the information they could ever desire to gain is right at their fingertips. I went to the library.

UGH….ARGH… and…

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Ok, let me be perfectly clear, there are parts of getting older that I truly love:

The wisdom that comes with experience, the positive realizations that come with knowing better, the joy of personal growth, accepting yourself, the recognition of who you are and who you want to be, the beauty of becoming, time allowing you to find yourself and what truly makes you happy, and an appreciation for the people and things around you.

BUT, on the flip side, let me be perfectly clear:

Physically getting older SUCKS.  It’s scary. It’s ridiculous. It’s brutal.

No one ever thinks of themselves as being “old.” In our hearts and minds, we’re still youngins living it up and learning about the world.

Take a deep breath with me.

We can do this. Let’s choose to stay on top of life and not let it or its heavy all too quick turning of time weigh us down. We’ll relish the memories. We’ll laugh at the current youngins in their childlike glory & cluelessness.  We’ll embrace this life that we’re blessed to be living. And let’s choose to do it all with a declaration of acceptance, love, and joie de vivre – never letting go of our own childlike wonder. Instead of letting the idea of “30 years ago” scare the hell out of us, let’s smile at the craziness of life and let the memories fill our hearts.

Through the utter brutality of aging as the younger generations flaunt their innocence, idiocy, and tender youth, let’s stand tall, fight back, and make the most of this journey. As I like to say, let’s carpe diem ya’ll. We must seize the day and make our lives extraordinary, no matter how daggome old we get!

 

Sweet Valentine

candy-3936989_1920By Rachel Sircy

Well, just like Halloween, Valentine’s Day presents a special challenge to the gluten-free eater. For those of you out there with children with celiac or who may have classmates or friends with food allergies, this can be an especially challenging time of year. Valentine’s Day can be fun, but being left out of the celebration can be heartbreaking for school children. There are metric tons of candy on virtually every store shelf in the country but figuring out which ones are actually safe for celiacs to eat is so difficult that it’s almost depressing.

Many major brands (like Hershey’s and Nestle, etc.) have certain candies and chocolate bars which are only gluten free in certain seasons and in certain shapes and sizes. For instance, Hershey’s milk chocolate bars are gluten free ONLY in the 1.55 oz size – all other sizes, shapes and varieties of the Hershey’s plain milk chocolate are NOT gluten free. The same applies with Nestle’s Butterfingers. The regular and fun size bars proudly proclaim that they’re gluten free, but all other sizes, shapes, and varieties are not gluten free. Hershey’s and Nestle aren’t alone. Jelly Belly Jellybeans are all technically gluten free, HOWEVER, they are sometimes packaged by different companies, and the Jelly Belly corporation cannot vouch for these other companies. They tell you that you must look closely at each individual package of Jelly Bellys and call the packaging facility on the back to find out if this particular package is gluten free or not. Honestly, I feel like I need a flow chart, a food scale, a calculator, and possibly a Ph.D. to keep up with some of these candy companies.

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It’s really important in light of all of the confusion to teach your celiac (or allergic) children to resist temptation. Easier said than done, right? Temptation often gets the better of adults, let alone kids. The best way to ensure that your child stays safe while unsafe candy and wheat-based cupcakes are free-flowing is to make sure that they have their own safe-to-eat treats. I wrote in the summer about the Be a PAL program. PAL stands for Protect A Life. This program teaches children how to be a safe friend for others with food allergies by helping to make sure that these other children stay safe from dangerous foods and also from food-allergy bullying. Even if your child doesn’t have food allergies, you can help protect and reach out to other children who do have potentially dangerous allergies by being intentional when purchasing candy and treats for school parties.

I’ve said all that to say this: I am going to provide a list of companies who strive to make products that are safe for everyone:

  • Enjoy Life Foods: Hands down, this is the absolute best company for food allergy sufferers. ALL of the products made by this company are allergy friendly. They are free from all of the 8 major allergens (including gluten of course), and they are delicious. I have been a loyal customer since the early days of my diagnosis. They are expanding their repertoire lately, and they have Valentine’s candy packs which would be perfect for parties at your child’s school. They also have baking mixes,
    snack bars, cookies, you name it.

https://enjoylifefoods.com/our-foods/valentine-chocolate-minis/

  • Yum Earth: The gummy candies and lollipops from this company are organic, free from nuts, chemical dyes, high fructose corn syrup, and are vegan. They also come in fun heart-shapes for Valentine’s Day.

https://shop.yumearth.com/Organic-Valentines-Day-Gummy-Hearts/p/YUM-018334&c=YumEarth@Valentines

  • Glutino: One of my primary go-to gluten free brands. I love their pre-packaged cookies AND their cake mixes AND their crackers AND their chocolate covered pretzels…the list could go on for a while. If you’re thinking of making gluten free cupcakes for your kid’s school, I would suggest you use the mix from this brand. The downside of Glutino products is that they are not necessarily free of the 8 major allergens. HOWEVER, their website does state that the ingredients label on the package that you’re purchasing should have all possible allergy contaminants listed in the ingredients section.

http://www.glutino.com/products/

  • Schar: Okay, so as far as gluten free convenience food goes, I’ve saved the company with the tastiest stuff for last. I have actually eaten myself sick on both their Chocolate Dipped Cookies and their Honeygrams. Actually, their Honeygrams are so delicious that whenever we have a family cookout with s’mores, even the non-gluten-sensitive people ask for them. If you get put in charge of bringing the graham crackers to your kid’s school, try this brand. You can find them at Walmart, and even though they’re a bit pricier than regular graham crackers, they’re totally worth it. They also have a very intensely specific FAQ section on their website. FYI: this company focuses on celiac disease, not necessarily other allergens.

https://www.schaer.com/

Well, I hope this list of gluten-free (and some allergen free) candy, etc. helps out with your child’s Valentine’s Day! Happy February!

Where Did The Time Go?

By Lisa Baker

Has anyone really looked at the calendar today?  Where did January go?  Here we are one month into 2019.  Time goes by so fast.  I talked to Dad this morning on the phone; it was hard to understand all that he said.  From what I could piece together, he is tired of sitting around and no one coming to visit him.  I tried to explain to him that both my husband and I have been sick.  He told me he has never had a cold, and that shouldn’t stop us from coming to see him.  He wants to see Mom and go to his house.  He thinks he can stay by himself.  He wants to walk in the yard and in the road so he can go wherever he wants.

He thinks that no one watches him at the facility.  It doesn’t matter how many times you try to tell him that staff watches him, he can no longer comprehend that he cannot be alone and that he is being watched.  He cannot communicate because he can’t verbalize what he wants to say.  He repeats words over and over thinking that he is completing his thoughts.  Dad will never again be able to be alone.

Right now, Mom seems to be doing OK.  She has been a little dizzy and has had some pain lately, but she seems to be settling in at her new facility.

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I want you to sit down and think about this: you can’t speak clearly, and you can’t remember which words to use to express your thoughts.  You feel so isolated and alone because you are having huge communication issues.  Can you begin to understand how a dementia patient feels? How about the family that is trying so hard to keep their loved one at home? At this point, it doesn’t matter if they are in a facility or at home.  If they are at home, you or someone must be with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you have no help, you start to feel like you are losing your mind too.

Now imagine you are married.  Your spouse works outside the home.  You have to care for your children, keep up with your house work, prepare meals, wash clothes, and help your kids with homework. Now add a loved one with dementia to the mix.  Imagine they are at a point where they don’t want to bathe or eat. If you thought you had your hands full before, you were dreaming.  You are very quickly wearing yourself out.  You need help. Is it any wonder that caregivers for a loved one with dementia stand a very high chance of getting it themselves?

So what are you going to do?

Give up yourself completely? Find extra help who you will have to pay? Start looking at long term care facilities? The answers to all these questions and many more vary from person to person and family to family.

I do not have all the answers, right or wrong.  I can only do what’s best at the moment for myself and my parents.  What can I tell you then?  Well for me, I almost immediately made an appointment with my doctor.  I had no idea just how bad things could be, but I knew I would need help for me.  I knew I needed to be very honest with my doctor about my physical health as well as my mental health.

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I knew that the stress of everything could be very high, but I also knew that I needed help.  I needed someone who I could share all the burdens and business of having both parents with a dementia diagnosis.  While I do have both of my brothers, I knew I needed someone else with some medical experience to help me with things.  My sister-in-law was a perfect choice.  She has medical experience which makes it so much easier when we have to split up with one of us with Mom and one of us with Dad.  We set up a group text between my sister-in-law, both my brothers, and myself, so we could communicate effectively to each other about both parents. Early on, I mentioned that my parents had their wills already done and their POA financial and medical already picked.  All their legal paperwork was in order.

Even with that, you need a human support system. I don’t see how anyone can do this without help.

What other things can you do? Look at the questions below.  Sit down with your loved one NOW and go through these.  Write their answers down or better yet, video record them and their answers.  You may think it’s not important now, but later you will wish you had done this.  Sometimes you don’t realize just how much is gone until you start thinking about the things you can never go back and ask your loved one because they are too far in the dementia process to be able to remember.

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This disease takes so much away from us all even before your loved one dies.

fb_img_1541818060307Sorry folks, I’ve been pretty deep in thought about the process and how we’ve already lost so much of Mom and Dad even before they pass.  You start realizing you can’t just ask them the things you used to because they don’t remember.

Strive each and every day to make as many memories as you can.  Take lots of pictures.  Journal about your loved ones as well as yourself.  You never know if the day will come, so you will be so thankful that you did.

 

Digging out of the Doldrums

By: Jeanne Reynolds

Sometimes it just all seems like too much.

Work projects I thought I had plenty of time to tackle are suddenly looming over me. I still haven’t painted the laundry room or cleaned out my closet. The pile of charity donations sits where I started it months ago. My office colleagues are quibbling and pulling me into the middle. A nagging hip injury caused me to miss a race for an important cause. My favorite football team lost. And I’m two days late turning in this blog post.

Yeah, I know, first world problems.

Still, all of us go through times when the stress of everyday life seems overwhelming. The list of things to get done grows faster than we can cross them off and molehill-size annoyances take on mountainous proportions.

As the joys – and chores, errands and demands – of the holiday season approach, this seems like a good time to remind myself of simple ways to keep perspective. Maybe some of these will work for you, too.

Take a deep breath. I recently started taking a weekly yoga class (see nagging hip injury above) and apparently, it’s all about breathing. It helps bring oxygen to your muscles and clears your mind. And it’s a concept I can use any time I feel things piling up around me. No stretchy pants required.

Get outside. I don’t know if it’s the aforementioned oxygen or just being surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation, but going for a run or walk, playing a round of golf or even picking up pine cones and sticks in the yard (talk about your never-ending task) never fails to help me change my focus.

Write it down. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer – and old-school, too – but the physical act of writing things down helps me feel better organized. I wrote back in August about how making a master list of everything you need to do creates some mental space and alleviates some of the pressure. If that doesn’t appeal to you, here’s another idea: Keep a running list of the blessings in your life. Jot one or more on your calendar each day, then go back at the end of the week, month or year and read them. This is something your whole family can do. Start now and share around the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Start anywhere. Can’t face cleaning out the whole closet? Start with one shelf, one drawer or the shoe rack. The sense of accomplishment will feel great and may inspire you to tackle another piece of the project. I often use this strategy to overcome writer’s block. I just start keying in phrases, bullets or ideas, then go back and cobble them together into a cohesive whole.

Let it be. Sometimes the best thing to do is … nothing. Taking time to think through a problem before jumping in likely will lead to a better solution. Give yourself permission to procrastinate. It may be good for you. (Note to my editor: This is my excuse, I mean reason, for being late this time. Is it working?)

Pray. This one should be at the top of the list instead of the end. I don’t know why it’s one of the last things I think of. I rarely pray for a particular solution to a problem. Instead, my prayer takes the form of thankfulness for my blessings and for knowing God is always there for me. It’s a reminder that no amount of list-making or closet-cleaning means I’m really in control. And thank goodness for that.