One Year after Diagnosis

By Lisa Baker

Hi everyone.  Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the weather.  As I sit down to write my blog post I realize it has now been one year since we got Mom’s diagnosis of dementia.  None of us could have even imagined all that we have gone through.  Sometimes it seems as if it could be a bad dream.  But it isn’t.

Dementia can be so very complex and so very different for each person.  So please know that I am in no way an expert on the subject. I can only tell you things we have experienced and things we have learned along the way.

If you think about everything we have experienced in one year, lots of patients and their families go through this sometimes for years before their loved one passes away.

Can you imagine living for years with dementia?  Many families can’t afford help to care for their loved one.  So they do the best they can everyday, twenty four hours with no or very little help.  Let that thought sink in for a while.

This is a very hard disease.  Hard on the loved one that has it and hard on the family members that take care of them.  It is different for each and every person.  What works for one may not work for another.  The worst part of all is when you realize that you are losing your loved one bit by bit every single day.  Until you have lost them completely; yet they are physically still alive.  At this point they don’t remember your name or that you are a part of their family.  It’s very heartbreaking.  You begin grieving when you first get the diagnosis and continue to grieve even until they die and after.

photoYou keep thinking that it’s got to get easier yet it really doesn’t.  Even now I still find myself suddenly in tears over the smallest things because they remind me of Mom.

About a week and a half after Mom passed, it was her birthday.  Now a month and a half later and it’s Mother’s Day.  So we are left trying to figure out how to celebrate, yet missing Mom so very much.

If you think your loved one my have dementia go with them to their Doctor appointments.  Talk with their Doctor about any small issues that you are noticing.  Remember there is no cure but there are some medications that do seem to help.  Try not to correct your loved one, it only confuses them more.  Try to go along with their conversation or gently redirect them.  Remember that just as challenged as you feel they are also feeling confused.

I wish all mothers a very Happy Mother’s Day! Celebrate with your families and make plenty of memories.  Even take lots of pictures.

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