Where Did The Time Go?

By Lisa Baker

Has anyone really looked at the calendar today?  Where did January go?  Here we are one month into 2019.  Time goes by so fast.  I talked to Dad this morning on the phone; it was hard to understand all that he said.  From what I could piece together, he is tired of sitting around and no one coming to visit him.  I tried to explain to him that both my husband and I have been sick.  He told me he has never had a cold, and that shouldn’t stop us from coming to see him.  He wants to see Mom and go to his house.  He thinks he can stay by himself.  He wants to walk in the yard and in the road so he can go wherever he wants.

He thinks that no one watches him at the facility.  It doesn’t matter how many times you try to tell him that staff watches him, he can no longer comprehend that he cannot be alone and that he is being watched.  He cannot communicate because he can’t verbalize what he wants to say.  He repeats words over and over thinking that he is completing his thoughts.  Dad will never again be able to be alone.

Right now, Mom seems to be doing OK.  She has been a little dizzy and has had some pain lately, but she seems to be settling in at her new facility.

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I want you to sit down and think about this: you can’t speak clearly, and you can’t remember which words to use to express your thoughts.  You feel so isolated and alone because you are having huge communication issues.  Can you begin to understand how a dementia patient feels? How about the family that is trying so hard to keep their loved one at home? At this point, it doesn’t matter if they are in a facility or at home.  If they are at home, you or someone must be with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you have no help, you start to feel like you are losing your mind too.

Now imagine you are married.  Your spouse works outside the home.  You have to care for your children, keep up with your house work, prepare meals, wash clothes, and help your kids with homework. Now add a loved one with dementia to the mix.  Imagine they are at a point where they don’t want to bathe or eat. If you thought you had your hands full before, you were dreaming.  You are very quickly wearing yourself out.  You need help. Is it any wonder that caregivers for a loved one with dementia stand a very high chance of getting it themselves?

So what are you going to do?

Give up yourself completely? Find extra help who you will have to pay? Start looking at long term care facilities? The answers to all these questions and many more vary from person to person and family to family.

I do not have all the answers, right or wrong.  I can only do what’s best at the moment for myself and my parents.  What can I tell you then?  Well for me, I almost immediately made an appointment with my doctor.  I had no idea just how bad things could be, but I knew I would need help for me.  I knew I needed to be very honest with my doctor about my physical health as well as my mental health.

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I knew that the stress of everything could be very high, but I also knew that I needed help.  I needed someone who I could share all the burdens and business of having both parents with a dementia diagnosis.  While I do have both of my brothers, I knew I needed someone else with some medical experience to help me with things.  My sister-in-law was a perfect choice.  She has medical experience which makes it so much easier when we have to split up with one of us with Mom and one of us with Dad.  We set up a group text between my sister-in-law, both my brothers, and myself, so we could communicate effectively to each other about both parents. Early on, I mentioned that my parents had their wills already done and their POA financial and medical already picked.  All their legal paperwork was in order.

Even with that, you need a human support system. I don’t see how anyone can do this without help.

What other things can you do? Look at the questions below.  Sit down with your loved one NOW and go through these.  Write their answers down or better yet, video record them and their answers.  You may think it’s not important now, but later you will wish you had done this.  Sometimes you don’t realize just how much is gone until you start thinking about the things you can never go back and ask your loved one because they are too far in the dementia process to be able to remember.

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This disease takes so much away from us all even before your loved one dies.

fb_img_1541818060307Sorry folks, I’ve been pretty deep in thought about the process and how we’ve already lost so much of Mom and Dad even before they pass.  You start realizing you can’t just ask them the things you used to because they don’t remember.

Strive each and every day to make as many memories as you can.  Take lots of pictures.  Journal about your loved ones as well as yourself.  You never know if the day will come, so you will be so thankful that you did.

 

The Importance of a “Best Girlfriend” No Matter Your Age

By Janet Prince

Women need to have a “best girlfriend” just as much as younger girls do.  You know, the type of friend you can call on at any time day or night and know she will be there for you.  I am very blessed to have several “girlfriends” in my life.

Recently, my best friend sat with my daughters while I had surgery and then helped them get me home and settled.  Gary was away on his “bucket list trip,” so it was up to the girls to take care of me until he returned.  Then, she was with me again on the day of our daughter’s wedding rehearsal and dinner when I had to go back to surgery.  We were supposed to be spending that day decorating for the wedding, not at the surgery yarn piccenter, but thankfully I was able to attend both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding!

Back to my best friend, Susan.  She always takes the time to pitch in and help me, and she is always there when I call.  She has prayed for me through many surgeries and challenges over the past 18 years.  I honestly don’t know what I would do without her in my corner.  Because I don’t have any sisters, I am thankful that God brought us together all those years ago at the MOM program at Holland Avenue Baptist Church.  We have watched each other’s children grow into young adults and teenagers and have shared many special events in the kids’ lives.  We are “family” in every sense of the word.

friends 1I also have my best girlfriends in GFWC-SC.  I am blessed and very fortunate to have four women in my life who I know are there for me and lift me up when I am feeling down.  When the decorations needed to go up for the wedding, Jackie was there with her husband helping Ashlan’s new mother-in-law, Marsha, and Gary make everything perfect.  Jackie and Tammy gave a wonderful brunch for Ashlan and her bridesmaids which I didn’t get to attend.  Tammy also helped the bridal party put makeup on the flower girls and made sure they looked beautiful. Most importantly, Jackie, Laurie, Marian, and Tammy weren’t only there to witness Ashlan’s marriage to Joe, but also to show their love and support for me.  The “Fab-Four” are my travel companions when attending GFWC conventions and board meetings.  We enjoy the meetings, but we more so enjoy the time friends 2we get to spend together talking and laughing.  We are true “girlfriends” in our hearts.

I hope you all are as blessed as I am with those special “girlfriends” in your life.  If you are, let them know how much your relationship means to you.  Plan a day of shopping, going to a play, or trying your hand at a new craft.  Make it fun and enjoy the laughs you have together!

Those Wintertime Blues

By: Marianna Boyce

Have you checked in on your friends and family lately?  It’s important to ask those close to us how they’re doing periodically, especially after the holidays.  We never know what someone is going through.  They may seem fine on the outside but could be experiencing sadness and chaos on the inside.

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Speaking of sadness, have you ever heard about symptoms of seasonal affective disorder or SAD?  Our shortened winter days make for very long nights.  You are most likely affected if you start to feel sad or depressed in late fall carrying through the winter.  We crave more daylight hours and can hardly wait until Daylight Savings Time begins.  This year, the day for those wintertime blues to magically disappear is March 10, 2019.

According to mayoclinic.org, symptoms of seasonal affective disorder are as follows:

  • Feeling depressed most of the day, nearly every day✅
  • Losing interest in activities once enjoyed✅
  • Having problems sleeping✅
  • Changes in appetite and weight✅
  • Having very low energy✅
  • Easily agitated✅
  • Difficulty concentrating✅
  • Feeling of hopelessness or unworthiness✅

I immediately recognized all these symptoms, but not for seasonal affective disorder.  Instead, I recognized them in relation to rheumatoid arthritis (RA).  Add daily chronic intense joint pain to this list and VOILA!  That was me in 2016!  Who knew?  Not me!  I was totally blindsided and clueless.  It took about a year and a half but with the help of a great rheumatologist here at LMC, I am feeling somewhat better.

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Words cannot describe the difficulty one deals with when something so mentally and physically draining leaves such a lingering adverse effect.  Whether it was SAD or solely RA, these symptoms changed my psyche to the core.  I had to delve deep to bring about self-help and healing to my body, soul, and mind.

If you need only a long sunshiny perfect spring day to uplift your spirit, you have a little longer to wait.  In the meantime, try these simple home remedies to help in your quest for a quick pick me up.

  • Open all your blinds during the day. Make your environment brighter and “sun shinier.”
  • Exercise regularly, even if it’s only 10-15 minutes. A mid morning walk would be perfect!  Outdoor light is beneficial, even on a cloudy day.
  • Consider eating your lunch outside on milder days. Living in South Carolina, chances are, that could be often!
  • Make minor changes in your routine. This may be enough to carry you through those wintertime blues.

For me, I chose my reliance and personal relationship with God to guide me through my img_0755 (1)horrible experience with RA.  It was never easy, especially when I felt like God was so far away.  It turns out, He was there the entire time.  Looking back, He was blatantly obvious.

You may choose to seek help with your general or mental health doctor;  this is also a great idea.  My point being, do whatever is necessary in order to just get help, especially if you are depressed and have the last symptom listed for SAD:

  • Thoughts of death or suicide.

I can honestly say I have never experienced this thought, but if you do, you need the most urgent attention!  Awareness is key.  If you or a loved one are having thoughts of suicide, please seek help immediately!  “It’s okay to not be okay.”

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

Support Groups for Breast Cancer Patients

Lexington Medical Center offers a number of support groups for patients with cancer. Meeting with fellow cancer patients and families can help alleviate stress and depression, and educate families about their cancer journey. The support groups are also free for anyone to attend, even if they did not receive their cancer treatment at Lexington Medical Center.

The first group is called “Coping with Cancer Together.” It’s for anyone diagnosed with cancer and meets at the hospital on Wednesday mornings.

The second group is “Sharing Hope.” It’s for women with recurrent or metastatic breast cancer. With the group run by a Lexington Medical Center breast cancer nurse navigator, patients gather and draw support from others.

This month, WLTX came to a Sharing Hope meeting to learn more about how the group helps patients. Here is the story.

Our Lucky Collards

By Shannon Boatwright

img_1063It’s the new year, and we’re all eager to kick start our year with positive thoughts, wishes and goals of good health, abundant happiness, and financial security. One of my traditions is to cook a new year meal that “promotes” and “represents” all these things. Black eyed peas, collards, pork chops/ham, cornbread, and grapes are the staples for our good luck meal. My favorite is the collards. I always like to buy my collards from local farmers: they’re the best, the real deal, and even the most affordable.

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Over the years, family members and friends have taught me all sorts of tips and tricks to making the best collards ever. These tricks range from making sure to wash the collards 3 times (I wash mine 4 times and use some vinegar when I do the last two washes), to cutting the collards into the shape of dollar bills (I like to pretend mine are $100 bills), to putting chunks of ham in the collards as they cook.

I like to cook two batches. For one (my favorite), I just use chicken broth, good ole Lawry’s seasoning, fresh garlic cloves, salt, and pepper. This year we actually had some leftover ham, so I put some ham chunks in as they cooked to add to the flavor. The other batch I make super spicy, with pepper, crushed red pepper, garlic salt, and whatever our favorite hot sauce is at the time –whether it’s Sriracha hot sauce or Tapatio’s hot sauce.  The collards are always my favorite part of the meal because it’s something I typically end up cooking literally only once a year.

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This year I scored a total win with my parents. I actually got my Dad, who has always claimed to not care for any cooked greens, to try my collards. I had to do a little convincing, but he loves spicy things, and I think when he saw my spicy collards cooking, he couldn’t resist. Let’s just say, I got him to come around, and he officially admitted that he likes my collards! Plus, my Mama declared that my regular collards were the best she’d ever had!

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Though there has been a bit of a collards shortage this year due to the hurricanes and cold weather, you can still find some. And guess what, if you didn’t get your good luck new year meal in yet, it’s still January, so you’ve got time! I’d love to hear about any cool, good luck foods you and your family eat to bring in the new year, so do share!

Here’s to a new year full of wealth! Wealth in health, happiness, and money!

Hank-Dog

by Tina Michelle Cameron

In October 2017, my son Hunter and his friend saw a puppy running down a busy street in Rock Hill, SC. My son was a senior at the time at Winthrop University living in a fraternity house, so the last thing he needed was a dog. Well, he showed up the night before Thanksgiving with this precious surprise that I knew nothing about. He named him Hank Williams, Jr. (he did spend 3 weeks posting flyers, taking him to be scanned for a chip, and looking for the owner without luck).

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My first thought was “no.” Then this sweet dog came into the den to meet me and my other dogs and proceeded within a minute to mark his territory on my cloth chair in the den. That put another “no” in my mind. I am so thankful that my son was able to save this poor puppy from being hit from a car or put into a bad person’s hands. After spending Thanksgiving with him, I was in love. My son understood the responsibility of having a dog, and since he was a student without a job, I agreed to help him pay for the dog’s needs. Hank is a Beagle-German Shepherd mix and was 8 months old when he was rescued off the street.

Fast forward to June 2018 and having to put my beloved Haley, my older Yorkie, to sleep.

My other Yorkie, Peyton, became extremely depressed and would not eat or drink. My20181225_105439 son suggested that I keep Hank for a week or two while he finished his summer job before moving to Charleston for graduate school. Peyton was not too happy at first, but they eventually started playing a little here and there. I decided that when Hunter started grad school, it would be best if Hank stayed with me to let him get adjusted with a school schedule. Plus, Charleston apartment rentals are expensive and even more so with a pet. He reluctantly agreed. Hank’s bark is rather loud, and he needs a backyard for the space to run and chase squirrels and birds and just be a dog.

Hank has settled in nicely at my home, and now he and Peyton have a love-hate relationship. She is 6 years older than him and is still suffering from depression from losing her best friend Haley. For the most part, she loves playing with him; however, he never slows down. He is 90 miles an hour, wide-open 24/7. I wish I knew the story of his first 8 months. My heart tells me he was abused because when you go to pet him on his head, he cowers down like you are going to hit him. This breaks my heart. He is the sweetest, craziest (sometimes most annoying) dog, but he has brought joy to my home.

His favorite play time is 3 a.m. every single morning—nudging me in the face with his toy all while standing on my stomach. Peyton and Hank both suffer from separation anxiety which is a challenge, but they comfort each other by snuggling is his large crate when I leave.

I am so proud of my son for saving this poor, scared dog, and even though Hank can be a handful at times, I love his sweet hugs and puppy kisses, and I love that he and Peyton are best buddies. Here are some pictures of Hank and Peyton- enjoy!

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Once Upon a Time…

By Rhonda Woods

Hello Everyone!

“Once upon a time…” is a game my granddaughters like to play while riding with me.  We all take turns adding to the story, and as you can imagine, their stories always include a mermaid or princess.  What fun and memories we are making!  The older three were with me this past weekend for some Nana spoiling.  The sleepover included running, squealing, laughing, playing, and ice cream cones.  I even took them bowling.  Yep, that’s right, I took them bowling by myself!  Adventurous, right?  None of this would princess-869721_960_720have been possible without my constant prayers for peace and God’s merciful grace answering those prayers.  I have faith that my life story will have a ” …. and she lived happily ever after” page.

My family, friends, and students have been happy to see me as I once was- energetic, confident, and “large and in charge!”  With two weeks of school left in the first semester, my tasks included finishing up quizzes, tests, and exams and a faculty/staff lunch.  The students stayed busy helping me freshen up the commercial kitchen for the new semester and preparing foods for practice labs.  Between the two classes, the students made Waffle Iron Brownies, Cinnamon Rolls, Buttermilk Biscuits, Chocolate Covered Strawberry or Red Velvet Cheesecake Bites, Shrimp Scampi, Crab Cakes with Red Pepper Remoulade, and Low Country Boil.  I bound their final projects: a cookbook complied of recipes used during the 18-week course. It was a proud moment for both the students and I when I handed each of them their own personal creation.  Most will keep this special memento for years to come and will use the prized standardized recipes.  Former students from my 18-year culinary arts instructing career still have theirs and keep in touch.  I thank God several times a day for this peace and renewed spirit that makes life enjoyable again after a year and a half of sadness, anxiety, exhaustion, and overcoming regrets.

So, let me share some of the recipes prepared by my students the past two weeks.  I hope you will enjoy them as much as they did.

May God bless you and your family as He continues to bless ours.

 Chef Woods

Cheese Cake Bites

Yields 30-36

Tools and Utensils:

  • Gallon-sized plastic freezer bag or food processor with blade
  • Large metal spoon
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • ½ sized sheet pan
  • Waxed/parchment paper
  • Measuring spoons
  • Microwavable container
  • Fork

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb sandwich cookies (30 large cookies)
  • 8 oz. cream cheese, softened
  • 8-12 oz. chocolate candy coating, (bark), melted
  • Garnishes (as needed):
  • Chopped nuts, sprinkles, melted white chocolate

For Chocolate Covered Red Velvet Cheesecake Bites: 

  • 20 oz. vanilla sandwich cookies
  • 8 oz. cream cheese
  • 1 T cocoa powder
  • 1.5 t. butter flavoring
  • 2 t. red food coloring
  • 10 oz. chocolate candy coating, (bark), melted

For Chocolate Covered Strawberry Cheesecake Bites: 

  • 1 lb vanilla sandwich cookies
  • 8 oz. cream cheese
  • 1 T. + 2 t. sugar free strawberry jello mix
  • 1 t. strawberry extract
  • 8 oz. chocolate candy coating, (bark), melted

Procedure:

  1. In a food processor or gallon freezer bag, crush sandwich cookies to make crumbs.
  2. In a medium mixing bowl, combine cookie crumbs and cream cheese to form soft dough.
  3. Line a half-sized sheet pan with waxed/parchment paper.
  4. Portion dough into 30-36 pieces with a tablespoon.
  5. Roll each portion into balls.
  6. Place formed dough on the waxed paper lined pan, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate or freeze until firm.
  7. In a double boiler, or microwave, melt chocolate candy coating.
  8. Dip chilled cheesecake bites in the melted chocolate and place back on waxed paper lined pan.
  9. Sprinkle with optional chopped nuts or sprinkles before the chocolate hardens, or drizzle with melted white chocolate.
  10. Place the finished cheesecake bites in mini muffin papers.
  11. Refrigerate finished cheesecake bites in a covered container until ready to serve.

Waffle Iron Brownies

Tools and Utensils:

  • Waffle Iron
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • Small mixing bowl
  • Small microwavable bowl
  • Dry measuring cups
  • Measuring spoons
  • Whisk

Ingredients:

  • 1 ¼ c. Flour
  • ¼ c. Cocoa
  • ¾ c. Sugar
  • ¼ t. Salt
  • 2 Eggs
  • 1 T. Water
  • ½ c. Melted margarine
  •  1 t. Vanilla
  • Pan spray
  • Toppings:
    • Ice cream,
    • Chocolate or Caramel Syrup,
    • Powdered Sugar or Whipped Cream/topping,
    • Maraschino Cherries

Procedure:

  1. Preheat Waffle Iron to 350°
  2. In a medium mixing bowl, measure and combine flour, cocoa, sugar, and salt.
  3. In a small mixing bowl, measure and combine eggs, water, melted margarine, and vanilla.
  4. Stir liquid ingredient mixture into the dry ingredient mixture, until smooth with a whisk.
  5. Lightly spray waffle iron with pan spray.
  6. Portion batter on the griddle, ¼- ½ c., depending on the size of your waffle iron.
  7. Bake the brownie batter for 1 minute or until firm enough to remove.
  8. Server warm with the suggested topping.