By Lisa Baker
It has dawned on me that I should tell you all a little more about me. I have two younger brothers, Larry and Chad. I am married to a wonderful man named Carl. He is such a blessing to me. My brother Larry is married to Stefanie and they have two children. Chad is single and has three fur babies, a cat and two dogs. I have two children, a boy and a girl. My husband has two children, a boy and a girl also. Between us we each also have a grandchild, a boy and a girl.
My parents thankfully were smart in setting up their wills ahead of time and along with it a medical power of attorney and a financial power of attorney. So we were in better shape because of that. We just had to find the will and get copies to the appropriate parties. Their financial institution also required that their Doctor write a letter stating that each of them were no longer able to handle their financial affairs. Out of everything, this is one thing that took a little while to get. We had Mom’s letter before we had Dad’s. But once we had them both and signed the appropriate paperwork at the bank, it went smoothly.
I can’t stress enough that we all need to have a will and a medical and financial power of attorney and talk with these people so they are well aware of what you want.
You should also let these people know what insurance you have and where the contact information is for all policies.
Be aware that while some facilities take insurance, but some are private pay. Also, it depends on the level of care your loved one needs as to what the final cost is.
With my parents, my Mom needs more care around the clock. She is unable to stand or walk. She barely eats anything and drinks very little as well. My Dad can still take care of his personal hygiene and doesn’t need as much one on one care. They each needed different facilities for their special needs.
There are some great support groups on Facebook and the internet. One that I have enjoyed is Molly’s Movement on Facebook. This is a page that you can join and have conversations with other caregivers dealing with the many different forms of Dementia.
Also, on YouTube you can look up videos by Teepa Snow. She is really good at breaking down what the Dementia patient is going thru.
There are many others. These are just two that I have gotten very good information from and have enjoyed knowing that I’m not the only person going thru this with my parents.
As a family we struggle each day to get used to our new normal which isn’t normal in any way. In fact, my Dad has been in the hospital for two weeks. He got combative at his facility hitting two of the staff members. The head nurse had him sent to the hospital. His hospital stay has been very hard on us all.
He won’t talk to us at all so it’s very hard to tell if he knows us or not. That alone is heartbreaking to experience. He has also been in restraints during this hospital stay.
So, it seems that we are constantly facing one challenge after another.
I’ll continue to keep you all posted on our challenges and experiences hoping that they will be helpful to someone else out there going thru the same things. Please feel free to ask questions or give me your feedback. I would love to hear from you.