Wishing my life away

By Jeanne Reynolds

As I write this, the wind is picking up. Every so often a gust blows through, whipping small tree branches and loudly rustling the leaves. And I know this is just the beginning.

But by the time you’re reading this, the storm will have passed — and I can’t help wishing I was already there in next week. “I can’t wait until Monday when the worst is behind us,” I think.

It’s hardly the first time. Last weekend I travelled halfway across the country to attend the memorial service for a favorite uncle. As much as I looked forward to reuniting with cousins I hadn’t seen in many years, the trip was long, stressful and tiring. “I can’t wait to get home Sunday night,” I thought several times before and during the visit.

Now that I’m back, I continue to look at what’s ahead on the calendar — even some really fun events including a family beach trip and several golf tournaments out of town — and find myself looking forward just a bit to having them behind me so life can get back to “normal.”

In fact, I seem to spend a lot of time wishing for some future time when everything will be better/easier/cleaner/organized/done: when I retire, when I move full time to Beaufort, when I get the house power-washed, when the cooler weather gets here. And on and on.

I don’t think this is the ideal way to live, and I know I’m not alone. Witness the plethora of advice online and in books and magazines for “living mindfully,” “living in the moment,” “minimalism” and “essentialism.” I get it: We aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow, and focusing too much on the future robs us of today’s joy.

If awareness is the first step toward change, I’ve got one foot planted out front. If you, too, find yourself falling into the habit of wishing your life away, here are some ideas from PsychCentral that might work for you.

mind-full-or-mindful

7 small ways to live more mindfully every day

  1. Connect to your senses. Being mindful is being more aware of the moment. It’s using our senses to pay attention.
  2. Meditate in the morning. Meditation is a powerful way to practice mindfulness.
  3. Savor the sips of morning. As you take your first sip of coffee, tea or another favorite beverage, use it as an opportunity to savor the moment.
  4. Rethink red lights. Instead of letting make you feel stressed or anxious, use the opportunity to practice deep breathing.
  5. Make handwashing mindful. Take that moment when the water hits your hands to breathe and feel the sensation of the water against your skin.
  6. Break patterns. Take a different route on your daily commute or try something different for lunch.
  7. Count blessings at bedtime. Train your brain to look for things that are positive by identifying three things you’re grateful for.

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Facing your fears

By Eliza Boulware

I am scared, or should I say AFRAID of dogs. Any size, any type – yes, even the tea cup dogs. I know it’s bad and it is sometimes embarrassing because it seems like everyone has a dog. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer and they told me it was aggressive which mean it grows fast, so I was faced with a greater fear. The fear of cancer and not sure if I would live through it.

Before I started treatment, I was told that they would bring therapy dogs around and I began to panic. If a dog came near me, I would run, jump, break things, as I screamed. My heart would race and it felt like I stopped breathing.  Now I am trying to figure if I am sitting there plugged up to all these machines, what if I pulled the needle out? I began to pray and made my mind up that if I could face the fear of cancer, I will face my fear of dogs at the same time. My journey started and I became the main attraction.  Everybody would walk up to see how I would respond. At first, I could not relax when the dog came in. The lady had to keep the dog from even touching me. As I continued treatment, I kept dogworking on overcoming my fear. As you can see in the picture, with trusting God to face my fears, I was able to allow the dog to sit beside me and even rub the dog. I can’t express how major that was.

Lesson learned that when we trust God, we can face any fear and overcome them. Life sometimes has us to face some difficult situations and we become fearful of the unknown. I still don’t know why I am afraid of dogs but that fear could hinder me from doing what God has for me to do or can keep me from being in the right place to receive my blessing. Face your fear so that you can overcome what maybe hindering you on your journey. With God all things are possible. Face your fear!

Meet the Caregivers

By Lisa Baker

It has dawned on me that I should tell you all a little more about me.  I have two younger brothers, Larry and Chad. I am married to a wonderful man named Carl.  He is such a blessing to me.  My brother Larry is married to Stefanie and they have two children.  Chad is single and has three fur babies, a cat and two dogs.  I have two children, a boy and a girl.  My husband has two children, a boy and a girl also.  Between us we each also have a grandchild, a boy and a girl.

My parents thankfully were smart in setting up their wills ahead of time and along with it a medical power of attorney and a financial power of attorney.  So we were in better shape because of that.  We just had to find the will and get copies to the appropriate parties.  Their financial institution also required that their Doctor write a letter stating that each of them were no longer able to handle their financial affairs.  Out of everything, this is one thing that took a little while to get.  We had Mom’s letter before we had Dad’s.  But once we had them both and signed the appropriate paperwork at the bank, it went smoothly.

I can’t stress enough that we all need to have a will and a medical and financial power of attorney and talk with these people so they are well aware of what you want.

You should also let these people know what insurance you have and where the contact information is for all policies.

Be aware that while some facilities take insurance, but some are private pay. Also, it depends on the level of care your loved one needs as to what the final cost is.

With my parents, my Mom needs more care around the clock.  She is unable to stand or walk.  She barely eats anything and drinks very little as well.  My Dad can still take care of his personal hygiene and doesn’t need as much one on one care.  They each needed different facilities for their special needs.  wall art

There are some great support groups on Facebook and the internet.  One that I have enjoyed is Molly’s Movement on Facebook.  This is a page that you can join and have conversations with other caregivers dealing with the many different forms of Dementia.

Also, on YouTube you can look up videos by Teepa Snow.  She is really good at breaking down what the Dementia patient is going thru.

There are many others.  These are just two that I have gotten very good information from and have enjoyed knowing that I’m not the only person going thru this with my parents.

As a family we struggle each day to get used to our new normal which isn’t normal in any way.  In fact, my Dad has been in the hospital for two weeks.  He got combative at his facility hitting two of the staff members.  The head nurse had him sent to the hospital.  His hospital stay has been very hard on us all.

He won’t talk to us at all so it’s very hard to tell if he knows us or not.  That alone is heartbreaking to experience.  He has also been in restraints during this hospital stay.

So, it seems that we are constantly facing one challenge after another.

I’ll continue to keep you all posted on our challenges and experiences hoping that they will be helpful to someone else out there going thru the same things.  Please feel free to ask questions or give me your feedback.  I would love to hear from you.

 

Change Is In the Air…

By Marianna Boyce

As days get shorter and nights get longer, you can rest assured the leaves will soon begin their amazing transformation.  Of course, they eventually fall to the ground and leave the trees bare waiting for another spring.  Until then, we will soon be making our favorite chili recipes to share with friends and family.

Whether you are a Carolina or Clemson fan, you are enjoying this time of year.  Although I love the Gamecocks, my favorite team is the rose between those two thorns.  I’m a Furman Paladin through and through.  furman

My husband, also an avid Gamecock fan, purchases Furman tickets and a parking pass for me every year.  He attends all the games he can, but working swing shifts, he cannot always go.  My sister Cindy is always “on call” to use that extra ticket.

We started attending in 2006 when our son chose Furman University as his first (and only) choice after graduating high school.  His band director attended there and Cody wanted to follow in his footsteps. We tried getting him to apply to other schools, but he (and God) knew Furman was “the one.” It was indeed the perfect fit for him.

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Being a music education major, he was in their marching band.  I miss seeing him on the field, but I love when he’s able to come to a game with me when he’s not working.  (He’s not only a middle school teacher, he’s also a percussion instructor at his high school alma mater.)  Currently, many of his Saturday’s are spent at marching band competitions in our local community.  If you ever have an opportunity to support one in your area, you would certainly not be disappointed!

Our youngest granddaughter Avery also enjoys the day trip to Greenville, SC.  We love the personal touch of a smaller university.  When she’s there, she absolutely owns the place!  cheerleader

Last year at one of the games, after she had two snow cones, she asked for a third.  I said, “Well sweetie, that may not be a great idea.”  She shrugged her shoulders and replied in her confident, perky voice,  “It’s okay GiGi.  It’s only ice.”  The “snow cone man” adamantly agreed!

We laughed and thought, with that kind of logic, why not!  It was an early game anyway. She had time to play on the hill with other kids before we left.  That “ice” sure did give her a boost of energy!

If you’re a grandparent, you understand right?  It is difficult saying no to her, although sometimes I do.  Okay hardly ever, but she never asks for much.  She really just wants our time.  How much money and effort does that take?

The autumn equinox is upon us.  If autumn and football are not your “cup of tea”, hang in there.  With time, there’s always change.  Whether it’s the astronomical seasons, or the seasons of life, try to enjoy them all.  If not?  My daddy would say, “What we don’t enjoy, we endure.”  I enjoy each season for different reasons.  What’s your favorite?  Happy fall y’all!  lake

Advice for all the Momma’s that have kids leaving for college

By June Headley-Greenlaw

I wanted to share some advice in this blog for all the parents that just moved their kids into college.  I feel like having taught a freshman orientation class at the University of South Carolina for 14 years and having moved two of my own children into college; I may have some insight.

Here are some things you should encourage your new college student to do:

  • Have them get to know their instructors early in the semester.
    • Go visit instructors at the beginning of the semester, don’t wait until you need them
    • Visit them during office hours and introduce yourself and let them know how important their class is to you.
    • Instructors are people too and they are teaching for a reason.  Most of them want to guide students and they enjoy getting to know them.
  • Take stock of all the resources available to students.  Most campuses offer Supplemental Instruction (SI) sessions for classes they have identified to be particularly difficult for students.  There may be free tutoring available.
  • Advise your child to make use of as many meal swipes as possible.  If they don’t have time for a meal, go get some fruit, chips, granola bars or whatever else might be offered that you can take in your book bag to class with you or back to your room for a late night snack.  You’ve already paid for it!
  • Have your student do a “schedule at a glance”.  Print out blank calendars and fill in all assignments from each syllabus so that you can see now where your trouble spots will be and prepare for them.  This is an assignment I gave to all my freshman and many of them verbally thanked me for forcing them to get it done.
  • familyRemind them often to use good judgement.  Moving away from home is tough and there are a lot of pressures in their first year.  It’s easy to get caught up in activities that they don’t realize may be detrimental to them later.  I often used the phrase in class “remember decisions you make today could affect the rest of your life”.  I meant that very literally and gave them examples.  The decision tonight to have unprotected sex could lead to an unexpected pregnancy and could change the rest of your life.

Remind yourself not to be hurt if they don’t call often.  They will be extremely busy getting acclimated, making friends, and doing all the things for themselves that you would normally do for them.  They still love you.  They are just doing their best to show you that they are all grown up!

Happy First Birthday to Jack and Lilly!

By Kate Morrow

Jack and Lilly Morrow, born at 28 weeks gestation, turned one year old on September 14, 2018. 

Dear Jack and Lilly,

I will always remember your birthday as the scariest, yet best day of my life. You came into this world in a whirlwind and have been strong, courageous, and brave since day one. You have been through more in a year than most have been through in a lifetime. I am absolutely honored to be your Mommy and as I reflect on this day, I am filled with nothing but pride and joy.

You have changed me so much this past year and in ways I never expected. On your birthday last year when you were born at 28 weeks, I couldn’t understand why this happened to our family. I asked God “Why” so many times. Why did this happen to me? Ashamed, I spent a lot of this past year continuing to ask why and jealous of others who had such a joyous entrance into motherhood— beautiful and snuggling their babies in their hospital beds. I couldn’t get those happy images I longed for out of my head.

But, as you grew, I grew, too. I started to understand, accept, and love our beautiful story. I found reason and purpose— word by word, line by line, page by page. As our story came together, I realized it is the most beautiful story I have ever read.

Today, I confidently now know God gave me you for a reason. He gave me you and our experience to build me. To strengthen me. To make me a rock solid, warrior. You taught me what it means to be strong and courageous. It is this courage that has helped me become the best version of myself possible.

Your courage has given me strength to be brave so much this year when I really needed it. It gave me strength to keep going on our darkest, loneliest days during the NICU and isolation. It gave me strength to resign from a ten-year career and know that a career doesn’t define you. It taught me how to take a leap of faith and not be consumed by what others thought. It taught me to be brave for those around us and how to bring others joy and make them smile when I was absolutely losing it inside

Your birth story gave me purpose. For the first time in my 33 years of life, I have found my calling and I am using our experience to help others. To advocate for women and babies in our situation. To make a difference. To empower others. I feel absolutely alive when I talk about our story and see that it brings others joys and comfort.

Our experience has shown me what an amazing world we live in. The amount of friends, family, and even strangers who came together to pray for us, love us, encourage us, care for you, and just hug us was humbling. I still continue to be in awe by the love that surrounded us. I am so grateful for each and every single person—for sharing with us and allowing me to overshare somedays. I couldn’t have gotten through this year without our village. I could spend every minute of every day thanking them and it wouldn’t be enough. It taught me to take refuge in family. I have a deeper love and connection with all of our family, especially your Daddy. He continues to amaze me. Your strength and courage definitely comes from him.

You have made me realize I cannot plan. I used to be a worrier, full of anxiety and full of creating perfect plans. I’ve learned this past year life can be messy. It goes unexpected. I have learned to go with the flow and I have never been happier.

But most of all, your courage taught me how to be strong when we lost your Poppy and my Daddy. You are absolute miracles. Science only does so much and then there is God. Your medical success is God’s work. You are living testimony that there is a wonderful Father in Heaven and because of this, I know, without a doubt, that Poppy is resting gently in His arms and watching over us.

The day you came into this world so early, your birthday, I accepted that I could potentially become a Mommy to children with disabilities, special needs, or ultimately a Mommy to two angel children in Heaven. It was also this day that I committed myself to making sure I did everything in my power to help you become the best version of yourselves possible, whatever that version may be. Because, darlings, no one is perfect. You have exceeded my expectations in every single way possible.

I no longer ask God why. Instead, I thank God daily for writing the most beautiful story ever— a story I could have never written myself. A story that I would not change for the world. Our story.

You are everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever dreamed. The best book I have ever read.IMG_1537-1

I love you. I love our story.

And most of all, I love being your Mommy.

Happy Birthday, Jack and Lilly!

Love,
Mommy

 

Salads to Share for Football Season

By Rhonda Woods

Hello everyone!  Well, it’s that time of year….yep, FOOTBALL!!!!!  Weather you are a USC fan, Clemson fan or all of the other college teams,  Football means tailgating or football viewing gatherings on the patio, garage or den. So, we need some recipes to feed the hungry fans to keep up their strength to yell and cheer on their teams.

Like many households, we were a House Divided with both USC and Clemson fans, with my “sweet husband” being one of the biggest Clemson fans I have ever known!  He would boast his devotion to his team, proudly wearing his orange attire, picking with his family and friends and enjoying both the triumphs and defeats.

In my class, we prepare Faculty/Staff lunches twice a month as well as the occasional catering opportunities and have found the following salad recipes to be a huge hit.  Our folks get some pretty good eats here and they are quick to praise our program. I think we have spoiled them just a bit.

May God bless You,

Chef Woods

Red Skinned Potato Salad with Dill

@12-15 servings

4 lbs. red skin potatoes, diced, cooked and cooled

1 small onion, peeled and diced

1 rib celery, diced

½ c. pickle relish

6 hard boiled eggs, peeled and diced

½-1 t. dried dill weed

Dressing:

½ c. evaporated milk

1 t. vinegar

2 t. sugar

2 T. prepared mustard

1 ¾ c. salad dressing (not mayonnaise)

Salt & pepper to taste

  1. In a large bowl, combine potatoes, onion, celery, pickle relish, eggs and dill weed.
  2. In a small mixing bowl, whisk together evaporated milk, vinegar, sugar, mustard and salad dressing.
  3. Gently toss salad dressing with vegetables.
  4. Add salt and pepper to taste.
  5. Transfer salad to a plastic or glass bowl, cover and refrigerate.

 

Broccoli Salad

8-10 servings

Salad:

1 large bunch broccoli or 2 broccoli crowns, chopped (including the stem)

1 small red onion, chopped

½ c. raisins (white or dark)

½ c. pecans, chopped

Optional ½ c. shredded carrots

Dressing:

1 c. mayonnaise

¼ c. vinegar

½  c. sugar

¼ c. milk

Stir-ins before serving:

¼ c. Bacon Bits

  1. Soak broccoli in cold salted water for 5 minutes.
  2. Rinse broccoli in cold water and drain.
  3. Chop broccoli, onion, and pecans, placing chopped vegetables and pecans in a medium mixing bowl.
  4. Add raisins.
  5. In a small mixing bowl, whisk together mayonnaise, vinegar, sugar and milk.
  6. Toss dressing with vegetable mixture.
  7. Put salad in a covered container and refrigerate overnight.
  8. Before serving, stir in bacon bits.
  9. Refrigerate leftovers.

 

Pasta Salad

8-10 servings

1 gal hot water

1 T. oil

1 T. salt

16 oz. tri-colored rotini pasta

1-4 oz. can sliced black or Kalamata olives, drained

1 pkg. Knorr Vegetable Soup Mix

16 oz. Italian Dressing

Optional:

Peeled diced cucumber

Shredded Carrots

Halved Cherry tomatoes

  1. Heat water, oil and salt in a small stockpot until boiling.
  2. Add pasta, stirring to separate, and cook for 8-10 minutes-al dente.
  3. Drain and rinse in cold water to cool.
  4. Return pasta to the stockpot or a mixing bowl.
  5. Combine cooked pasta, olives, soup mix and salad dressing.
  6. Transfer to a plastic container, cover and refrigerate for 2-4 hours, or overnight for best flavor.

 

Marinated Calico Bean Salad

12-15 servings

¼ c. Sugar

½ c. White vinegar

1 t. Salt

½ c. Onion (yellow or red), chopped

½ c. Green pepper, chopped

½ c. Celery,  thinly sliced

1 can Cut Green Beans

1 can Yellow Wax Beans

1 can Light Red Kidney Beans

1 can Lima Beans

1 can Sliced Carrots

1 can Garbanzo Beans

  1. In a small saucepan, measure and combine sugar, vinegar and salt.
  2. Heat over medium heat until sugar is dissolved.
  3. Remove and cool.
  4. Chop onion, green pepper and slice celery, then, add to the large mixing bowl.
  5. Open and drain all the canned vegetables in a colander, then add to the large mixing bowl.
  6.  Pour the cooled marinade mixture over the salad and gently toss to coat.
  7. Transfer salad into a large plastic container.  Seal with a lid and refrigerate overnight.