The Blessing of Separation

By: Crissie Miller Kirby

For over 3 years now, my boys have shared a bedroom; not because they had to, but because they wanted to.  Well, in truth, I guess, Pierce wanted Smith to share a room with him and I thought it was sweet. For a time, it was nice and it worked for our lives then.

Recently, though, things have gotten harder. Constant fighting. Sleepless nights. Nobody would take responsibility for how their room looked, etc, etc. On and on.

I was exhausted. The boys were exhausted. We were all irritable. Finally, divine intervention interceded and the boys announced, unexpectedly, one day, that they wanted separate bedrooms. Oh yeah!

The only thing I said was that I would not make the decision as to who would stay in the current bedroom and who would move into the playroom.

BrothersGod was certainly intervening as the boys quickly decided that Smith would move into the playroom. They didn’t even fight over it; in fact, there was hardly even a discussion.

Over the next few weeks, I worked on refinishing furniture and cleaning out the playroom. Toys were separated; clothes were separated. Finally, the day came when Smith could sleep in his own room.

Since then, the boys have slept better and so have I. There have not been nearly as many fights; I think because the boys now have their own space from which to escape the prying eyes and hands of the other. We made a rule that each boy was to ask permission to be in the other’s room. Toys were not to be taken from the other’s room without permission.

And, oh my goodness, it has worked. They have also kept their rooms relatively clean and have played together much better.

Now, that is not to say that there have been no fights and that they haven’t driven each other crazy at times; they are brothers, after all.

But there has been a new respect found for each other and their respective possessions. Life is much more peaceful at the Kirby house these days.

The respect has even extended to other areas of the house as just this morning Smith asked Pierce if he could have the last container of yogurt that Pierce picked for himself.  Pierce granted his request with no whining or crying or intervention by me. Quite frankly, it feels wonderful.

Generally, we all view the word separation in such a negative light. However, in this case, there was a blessing in the separation.

A blessing of peace, joy, respect, and pride. For the boys and me.

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