By: Roshanda Pratt
Happy New Year! I am throwing the word “balance” out of my vocabulary in 2012. Why? It does not exist. For years, as long as I can remember I have been trying to find a “perfect balance” or “equality” in my life and I have finally discovered it won’t work for me. Now, I will probably have some people disagree, and this is your right however, let me outline my case. I am a wife, mother of three young children, a ministry leader, business owner, blogger and the list goes on. As you can imagine, my days start rather early and end rather late.
For the past year, since our youngest child was born I have been trying to “even” out the scales of my life. I have had dear friends who are very concerned tell me I need to find “balance.” Well what does that exactly look like? The other day I was talking to a dear friend who has three young children, a business and a husband in ministry who seems to have her day programmed like clockwork. Each time we speak, she would tell me how “balanced” her life is. Usually, at the end of the conversation, I would ask myself: “What am I missing?” How does it seem like one end of my life is like a see saw, one end really high and the other stuck in the dirt!? Recently, I have been thinking about “balance.” Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word as the following:
“A state of equilibrium, to equal or equalize in weight, weigh, to bring or come to a state or position of balance.”
So it is safe to imply the word balance implies all things equal. But can this really be possible in life? Here is my case study: As a wife/mother my children rely on me often than they do daddy. It is just natural. I am not sure how it is in your house. But my children will bypass Daddy who is in the kitchen and ask me for something to drink. Really? Honestly, this really makes me mad. However, no matter how I try to explain it to those to ask Daddy, I still hear my name being shouted from across the house. Now that is unfair. But at the same time, I as the nurturing one, these children somehow associate me with juice. So where is the balance in that? How about getting up in the middle of the night to nurse, deal with baby puke, etc, etc, etc. Please understand I am not minimizing my husband’s role, but more often than not the children are yelling my name or crying for me.
I have learned it is not “balance” I am seeking or should be seeking but rather “PRIORITY.” What is important, and pursue that. This thought has really taking a lot of pressure off me. So now I think in terms of “priority” and not in terms of “balance.” Family time, times with God and in prayer, times to create, times with friends and time to be alone in complete stillness are all priorities and for me to try to put it in balance minimizes or reduces the significant of each task. For example, my time with my family cannot compare to my personal time where I am creating. And for me to try to make them equal on both ends seems really unequal. So on the days I really rather be in my bead/craft room making beautiful things for hours, priority says “No!” go spend time with your family. When I want to spend hours on my laptop priority says “Unplug, spend time with your husband.”
So in 2012, I am starting a revolution of sorts to ban “balance” from my life and rather seek a life of priority that is out of balance. Will you join me on this new found adventure of Freedom?