Category Archives: Advice

When It Comes to Flower Arranging, Don’t Be a Late Bloomer

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Six Tips on Making Beautiful Bouquets

By: Mary Pat Baldauf

Armed with good intention, I joined Apartment Therapy’s January Cure, a thirty-day plan to “whip your home into shape, get it clean, organized and under control.” I lasted until Day Eight, when the weekend task was to “Clean Your Kitchen and Declutter/Organize as You Go.”  It was just too much for a weekend.

One thing I did pick up during the seven days I participated in the January Cure was the weekly purchase of fresh flowers for my house. According to Apartment Therapy, “As simple as it sounds, the act of buying flowers for your apartment holds great significance and will heal your home on many levels. They are beautiful, they add life to the space, they help to humidify and cleanse the air.”

Mason Jar Arrangement

Yet with all of these are reasons to buy fresh flowers, there was no “Flower Arranging for Dummies” guide. I winged it, and through a process of trial and error, have created a few really nice arrangements. Recently, on Food 52, I saw some great tips on arranging flowers! (Where were these when I needed them?) Because they were such good tips, I thought I’d pick out a few of my favorites. For the full Food 52 article on flower arranging, click here.

  1.  Pick a color sequence of no more than three colors. It’s easy to get carried away while browsing a flower shop — but making something beautiful is easier when your flowers match each other.
  2. Big flowers stretch the farthest. If you’re on a budget — or if you’re nervous about making your own arrangement — go for a larger type of flower. They take up more space in a bouquet, so you can buy less of them — and they’re easier to work with while building a bouquet.
  3. If you’re using a round, wide-mouthed vase, make the arrangement in your hand first. Start with the flowers you’d like in the center, and start building around them, rotating the bouquet in your hand. When you’re satisfied, you can cut them all together — and just plop them in your vase!
  4. If you’re using a tall, skinny vase, think about height. Since these vases look beautiful standing against a wall, take advantage of your point of reference. Starting from the front, build your bouquet upwards, so that the tallest flowers stand up in the back. Here’s where your filler flowers come in; use them as your tall backdrop, while letting your colors pop in the front.
  5. Work on symmetry. When you’re starting arrangements, it’s easiest to make things beautiful by working in symmetry. Putting a pink flower on the left? Put another on the right. Is there a big flower towards the front? Try framing the bouquet with them.
  6. Change your water every day. If you have time, wash the vase with soap and water, and add a tiny bit of bleach to each new change of water (this will kill the bacteria). Each time you put your flowers in new water, you should give the stems a fresh cut.

T.G.F.A.D.

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By: Katie Austin

By the middle of every week (sometimes by the end of Monday), I find myself looking forward to Friday, knowing that the weekend is almost here.  Then, come Sunday evening, the Monday blues settle in as I prepare myself for another work week.  I wonder where the time has gone and notice the weeks are moving faster as I get older.  Even as I write this, I can’t believe we are almost to May! I begin to wonder how I can capture the Friday-feel-good feeling every day during the week. Wouldn’t it be great if every day were Friday?!  Of course. But how can I bottle up this feeling so that I can spritz it on at the start of each day?

Then, it hits me! The light bulb over my head is aglow and I realize that I can feel like it’s Friday every day!  How, you ask?  All we need to do is change the way we look at those “other” days during the week. Yes, even Monday :-)   Now, I look at every day as Thank God For Another Day.  Instead of being thankful for just Friday and being happy that I made it to the end of the work week, I try to remind myself that I am thankful each day that I wake up. I am thankful to have a job, a wonderful group of family and friends, and the opportunity to make each day one to remember.

T.G.F.A.D.

I know some of you are thinking, “Katie, take off those rose-colored glasses!”   But as I bring those rose-colored glasses to the end of my nose, I peek over the top of them to ask one simple question: if you knew today would be your last, would you feel the same way??  No matter what is going on in your life, you can find something positive when you look at life differently.  Believe that no matter what happens today, if you are given another day, things can change. We should look forward to tomorrow!  I am thankful even for the bad days, as I realize I am a strong person and that life events prepare us for future challenges.  I wouldn’t have made it through my breast cancer battle without first getting stronger from my past struggles.  You can and you will get through life hurdles, small and tall, when you believe that you can and when you are thankful for every day.

Life has a way of speeding up as we get older.  I think we should pause often, be thankful, and appreciate each day for what it’s worth.  Seize the day and make it one to remember!

Katie

Chill Out: Use Your Freezer to Save Money, Make Eating Healthier Easier

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By: Mary Pat Baldauf

My grandmother was the “queen of freezers,” and growing up, I couldn’t figure out why anyone would keep two big freezers full of perfectly good food. But since I’ve started eating healthier, I’ve gotten a small freezer myself; I’ve been amazed by how it not only makes eating healthier easier, but also saves some money in the process.

FreezerI tell people that changing my eating habits hasn’t been that hard; the hard thing has been the preparation and planning that goes into eating healthier. Three years ago, if I didn’t have time to pack my lunch, no problem; I’d drive thru Wendy’s instead. Now, however, I have to think ahead, and my freezer has become my best friend! On weekends, I prepare several meals, divide them into individual servings and pop them in the freezer. That way, a healthy meal is only minutes away.

People often complain that eating healthier is more expensive, but using a freezer can really help keep costs down. One way is by purchasing fruits and vegetables when they’re in season, then putting them in the freezer to use later. When your favorite products are on sale, you can also buy extra to put away in the freezer. For instance, every time Publix has my bread on “buy one, get one free” special, I get two loaves, whether I need them or not, because they freeze perfectly.

Frozen food will stay safe pretty much forever because the microorganisms that lead to spoilage and illness go dormant at or below zero degrees. But not all foods will taste good after defrosting. Lettuce will wilt and mayo will appear curdled, for example. Raw meats and poultry freeze better than prepared ones because the moisture that locks in flavor is lost during cooking.

Here’s some helpful information that I’ve had on my freezer for a while, and I thought it would be great to share. The information, from the Department of Agriculture, indicates how long frozen foods will keep their quality.

Food Months
Casseroles 2 to 3
Frozen dinners, entrees 3 to 4
Ham, hot dogs, lunch meat 1 to 2
Meat: uncooked roasts and steaks 4 to 12
Meat: Ground 3 to 4
Meat: Cooked 2 to 3
Poultry: uncooked whole 12
Poultry: uncooked parts 9
Poultry: cooked 4
Soups and stews 2 to 3
Wild game; uncooked 8 to 12

Did your mother or grandmother have a freezer? Do you have one? How do you use it? What are your tips for a freezer newbie?

Confessions Of A Weepy Mom

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By: Roshanda Pratt

When was the last time you cried?  I mean really shed some tears.  You know, what us gals call the “ugly cry,” the one with mascara rolling down your face, and your heart aching, the almost beating out of your chest kind of crying. The kind of crying that gives you a headache, causes your eyeballs to hurt, and is so exhausting you want to take a nap afterwards. A cry like this can be therapeutic, especially at times when there are no words to communicate the depth of your heart.  I have cried like this, not recently, but I had cause to do so.  Within the last two weeks (as if I did not already know), I have come to terms with the fact that building a business is work. As the owner, I see everything: the bills that need to be paid, the clients who are needed to pay those bills, their gripes (I have not had any real problems here) and the day-to-day workings of running a business.  I am the employee, CEO, CFO and janitor all in one.

I recently received a dose of reality that it is not for the faint at heart. About two weeks ago, I think it all came to collision.  I could feel the tears welling in my eyes and the heaviness in my heart.  First of all, I am a mom to three blessings and a wife.  Honestly, there are days I feel like the people who motivate me to build my business are on the losing end.  There are many demands between business, community service, church and just life.  I am not complaining.  My cousin once told me, “Girl, you are blessed to be busy.” And I would not have it any other way.  I knew early on I would never be that traditional June Cleaver (Matter of fact, is anyone?). However, I still want to make sure my husband and children are getting the best of me and not leftovers.  How many of you know that sometimes leftovers can leave a bad taste on the stomach?

So there I was, head on my laptop, thinking “woe is me,” as the tears began to form.  I could sense this was going to be a WHOOPER! The feeling of being overwhelmed settled in.  Feelings of wanting to quit, throwing in the towel, thinking this is just a pipe dream and lastly, “What am I doing to my family?”  Then, it happened. The first tear fell and then the second. I could feel the floodgates starting to open.  But before I could go there I had this thought:  This is just temporary.  Don’t let this moment or fleeting feeling determine the rest of your day or the rest of your life.  

Immediately, the tears dried up.  I then began to remind myself of what’s true.  Oftentimes we cry because we are replaying the negative thoughts or words in our head like a black and white film.  I had to replace what was false and remind myself what was true.  I then prayed. I mean, I was totally transparent with God about my thoughts and my feelings. Then I got up, started to clean the office and put together a plan of action.

That mini meltdown taught me something about honor. It is not the most popular word we hear in 21st Century culture. But just because it is not widely known, does not take away from its significance.  I had to get real with myself. I had not been honoring my time, my family, my spiritual commitments or my physical health.  Honor. In life, I have discovered when we are neglectful in one area, it has a tendency to run over in other areas.  I had to get back to Honor. So, I became intent on spending time with my family. I took the kids to the park and left the iPhone in the car.  I played games with the kids more often and cuddled with my husband on the couch while the phone rang. Meanwhile, I implemented a plan to also honor my business by setting a schedule and sticking to it.  Although my best intentions sometimes fall flat, I am still putting together a plan of action and that is a start!  As I continue to grow in my endeavors I am reminded of one of my favorite Bible verses:

Verse

Psalm 126:5-6 reads, “Those who sow in tears will reap with shouts of joy. Though one goes along weeping, carrying bag of seed, he will surely come back with shouts of joy, carrying his sheaves.”

Since my days as a student at Winthrop University, this scripture has been a balm of healing.  This scripture taught me my crying is just for a little while because in the near future, I will be shouting for joy and not rejoicing, but also carrying a harvest. Too often we become so consumed by what’s in front of us that we forget that everything is subject to change, just like the seasons.  The cold, harsh winter is saying goodbye and the newness of spring is coming. So shed some tears if you have to just for a little while, water your good seeds with your tears, and watch a harvest awaits you!

Be Encouraged.

Ro

What Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte & Miranda Taught Me About Life

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By: Shannon Shull

I think of how I spent my early twenties watching the ultra famous and popular HBO show, Sex and the City. As much fun as it was, I wish more of it had actually sunk in! Truth is, I couldn’t relate to those women then. Heck, I was still a naïve baby. I watch the show now and can totally relate, appreciate, fantasize… the list goes on. My best girlfriends and I re-watch our Sex and the City dvds and wish we could escape and dive into worlds of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda.

Picture 3

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”
– Carrie Bradshaw

Why is it that with a majority of us women, it’s not until we get older that we find ourselves? In a sense, we “wake-up” and figure out what we really want in life, decide we don’t want to settle, and attempt to learn that we need to live for ourselves? The older we get, the more we realize that life is just too short!

Charlotte

“It’s infuriating! Women sit around obsessing about what went wrong over and over again and men just say, alrighty.”
- Charlotte

These four fabulous characters were all fierce and independent, yet totally human, unique and imperfect women. They wanted acceptance and success. The show followed each of these women through their journeys of seeking love, finding their very own Prince Charmings, and achieving happiness. In the end, I think they and we, as viewers, were all pleasantly surprised to see who they ultimately chose as a partner. These ladies had a great time, worked hard, took care of themselves and embraced each other, faults, quirks and all. When I watch the show now, as a strong, independent woman in my late 30s, one of the best things I take from the characters of this show is the fact that it’s ok to love your body, celebrate life and embrace your age. Whether you’re in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s – no matter what age – I say, as Goddess women, we owe it to ourselves to embrace life! Take it by the horns and ride that bull with ferocious determination!

Samantha Jones

“I’m gonna say the one thing you aren’t supposed to say. I love you… but I love me more. I’ve been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that’s the one I need to work on.” – Samantha

Miranda

“No, he’s not sick. He’s not hungry, he’s not teething, he just wants to scream. I’m doing everything I can but I can’t please him. If he was 35 this is when we would break up.”
- Miranda

Now let me be clear, I’m not dissing the teens and 20 something’s of the world by any means! I say, live it up girls, go experience life to the fullest so you can find your true selves and not be forced into what others in your life expect you to be. I only wish I had explored more and jumped right into all of the opportunities I could’ve taken advantage of as a wild and carefree young lady. But let’s face it women, it seems unanimous that we tend to look back to our early years and consistently say, “if I only knew how good I had it then, the whole world ahead of me!” Like we’ve all heard declared all too often, “You just don’t get how good you really got it when you’re young, until maturity and the real world smack ya in the face!”

“So many roads. So many detours. So many choices. So many mistakes.” – Carrie Bradshaw

“As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can’t help but whine, ‘Are we there yet?’
– Carrie

So why am I touching on this subject? Because as I sit and write this blog entry, it is my 38th birthday. Yep, there ya have it, I just confessed my age. I am increasingly aware of the fact that I am gaining on 40. But I figure I can’t encourage all of you incredible women to embrace your age if I don’t, right!? Lately, I have noticed so many outstanding older women of all shapes, sizes, strengths, talents, and I am constantly encouraged that just because we get older does not mean that our lives are over. We do not have to have our teen and twenty year old bodies to appreciate life and all its glories. We do not have to live vicariously through others who are younger than us. Life is good in these later years of ours – we’ve learned from so many mistakes, we’ve experienced triumph and tragedy, we’ve lived through just enough discoveries to journey into the rest of our precious lives with enough knowledge to (hopefully!) not completely blow it, and to instead recognize our strengths, our talents, our desires and our needs in this short life.

Carrie On

“When real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep walking.”
– Carrie

“The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”
- Carrie

So, whether you are a fan of Carrie Bradshaw and the ladies, or not, they’ve helped a whole lot of us women cope with and embrace our ever aging lives. Goodness knows, they’ve become a part of my own therapy in holding onto the little bit of sanity I have left in my own complicated life. Sometimes there’s just nothing like watching an episode of Sex in the City, escaping into Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda’s world and being reminded that regardless of the hardships in life, we can (with style, of course) not only survive, but we can darn well take on the tough times, laugh at the absurdities, and encompass the complex whirlwind that is life. Like I said before, embrace the heck out of your amazing, precious, short life, because it’s the only one you get, SO WORK IT!

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” – Carrie

How to Instantly Feel Better in Your Bod

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By: Mary Pat Baldauf

Whether you’re a few pounds heavier than you’d hoped or feeling less than svelte in a particular outfit, we all have those days that we hate the way we look. Mine came last night when I was trying on clothes at a local department store. Faced with the harsh lights of the dressing room and a very revealing three-way mirror, it seemed like every pair of jeans instantly turned me into the Goodyear blimp.

Up more than a few pounds from my recent personal best, I was particularly hard on myself. I actually made the following comments to my sister, who was shopping with me:

“Oh my gosh, I look worse than I did before I lost all of that weight.”
“I am huge!”
“I look horrible!”

Thankfully, my sister was quite supportive and reminded me that while I may have gained some weight from my recent low, I am still in a far better place that I was seventy-five to eighty pounds ago. She also told me that I was “looking a little gaunt” at that low weight, which I don’t agree with, but was nice to hear nonetheless.

For those days that you don’t have a supportive friend like Sister with you, I recommend that you read and bookmark LMSW Glenda Gleissner’s: ‘I Feel Fat’: How to Feel Instantly Better in Your Body. In this post, Gleissner features ten tools to boost your mood when you’re having body image issues. Last night, I made use of several of the tools Gleissner mentions:

Support: Gleissner says that connecting with others can actually help squash some of the perfectionism and criticism tied to body dissatisfaction. I’m thankful that Sister was with me last night to help put things into perspective.

Appreciate: I reminded myself that while my weight is up a little, my body has been on an incredible journey in the last two years. And as a result, I am stronger and healthier: my blood pressure is down and my endurance is up.

There are also a couple of tools Gleissner mentions that I need to use:

Stop Comparing: In the very dressing room I derided myself in, I also compared myself to both my sister and my thinner self. While making comparisons is easy to do, we are neither better than nor less than anyone on this earth, we are just us. I need to learn to celebrate that.

Have Compassion: Gleissner asserts that when we have a body image issue, we are often feeling bad about something else; beating up our body is simply a go-to negative coping mechanism. She recommends doing something nice for yourself instead of beating yourself up.

In closing, I’m curious what kind of body image issues you might have and how you deal with them. Anything in Gleissner’s post that you either use or will try to use? Thoughts on body image in general?

The Final Chapter: Bittersweet

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By: Roshanda Pratt

Within three weeks, I have seen two friends bury their parents.  Death is never easy.  The final chapter in a life, even if it is one well lived, never comes as easy, even if you are “prepared.”  The first home-going service was for the mother, of my friend, who had been battling cancer for a while.  Her service lasted well over an hour, an indication of the type of life Mrs. Green lived.  She was the loving mother of ten, a wife of 50 years, a community servant, and a pastor at her local church.  As each person eulogized her, the theme was the same; Mrs. Green was a caring, loving, and no-nonsense woman who would give you her last if that meant you had the best.  Mrs. Green was a woman worth emulating.  Unfortunately, Ms. Green was diagnosed with cancer.  She outlived many of the doctors’ reports.  And even as she fought this disease she prepared her family for her journey home.  Even in death she was still thinking of others.

My other friend buried her father last week.  Mr. Charles was diagnosed 8 weeks ago with cancer.  According to doctor’s reports, Mr. Charles was given 6 months to live.  My friend uprooted her family, moved back home to spend the final 6 months with her Daddy.  Mr. Charles would subcome to cancer.  He did not make 6 months.  At his home-going service, I learned Mr. Charles was a family man, active in church, kind to strangers and loved by many.

Life is precious.  Life is fragile.  Life is a vapor.

I do not know what it is like to lose a parent.  How do you prepare?  I have asked myself this several times especially over the past few weeks.  I don’t have a profound answer; just a thought that time is a gift.  Time is what I heard my friend, who lost her father so quickly, stated she wanted more of it.  Time can be our most precious gift.

I was a 13 year-old volunteer candy striper at my local hospital in New York.  I would sit with patients, help nurses, and deliver flowers and a few smiles.  I really liked the job.  One day I was helping a patient, a woman hooked up to an oxygen machine.  I felt for that lady, even as a 13 year-old, my heart hurt for her.  The nurse came in and asked me to help change her bed sheets.  As we began the process, her breathing became more labored.  The nurse turned to me, motioned for me to stop and said, as if she were the judge, “She is dying.” I was shocked.  Here I am holding this lady in my arms listening to her fight with her last breathe, eyes wide open looking right into mine. I was stuck.  At 13 years old, I wanted to run away!  I wanted to just deliver flowers and smiles, and now death has ruined that.  The nurse ran out the room to get the doctor.  I continued to hold this lady as she took her last breath.  On the inside I felt like she did not need to be alone in that moment.  She died.  The nurses on the unit called my mom, who comforted me. I left the hospital early that day and my job as a candy striper was short lived.  I never met her family.  I did not know much about her. I often wondered if she had any children or if she was married. I wondered if she was “ready” to die.  Who is ever ready to die?  I wondered if she had regrets.

I decided long ago never to live in regrets with loved ones.  I think the mourning process becomes difficult many times because there are unspoken words, unforgiveness, regrets and time lost.  Even as I think about the fact that my parents will die someday, I can say I have been the best daughter to them (I have repented for the teenage years. Smile.).  The old adage goes, “Give people their flowers while they are still living.”  I talk to my parents often and when I do, I tell them how much I love and appreciate them.  My parents may not have done everything right, but I am thankful for them.  I make sure they know it.  I am discovering parenting does not come with an instructional manual, but through the grace of God and His wisdom you can raise children.

I want when my parents leave this earth for my heart to be at rest.  I will miss them.  I will cry.  However, I will know I gave them the best of me when they were living.

Both of my friends gave their best of themselves while their parents were living.  I saw my friend pack up her home within a week, giving away what she could not take, selling the rest, transferring her children from their school to move two hours back home to be with her father in his last moments.  I have seen my other friend travel back and forth to spend time with her mother at the hospital and through chemo treatments.  They both served their parents well.

As my husband and I sat through their parents’ final celebration of life, I thought how I never really got a chance to meet their parents.  However, I felt like I knew them through their daughters.  Every story, joke and personal testimony described my two friends.  What an indication of a life well lived.  That is legacy.  So, as my friends deal with the difficult part of the holidays without their loved ones, I hope they can find some peace in knowing they served their parents well, and even though mom and dad are gone, they are still part of their lives by how they live it.

This story is dedicated to Sharranda and Denise. Although we hate to see a good book come to an end, however, a good book well written always inspires those who read it. Remember that in the weeks and months ahead. (Matthew 25:23)

Learn the Pink Glove Dance!

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This year for our Pink Glove Dance Video, we were fortunate to have Stacy Ashley be our choreographer once again!  This is the second year in a row that Lexington Medical Center is entering the international Pink Glove Dance video contest sponsored by Medline Industries, Inc., a company that makes pink exam gloves.  The project honors cancer survivors and raises awareness about breast cancer.

Our hospital’s 2012 Pink Glove Dance features the compelling story of Lexington Medical Center nurse Amy Kinard of Lexington, who was diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 34.  The video is shot in our hospital and around our community – including at a highly-energized Williams-Brice Stadium, on a special pink glove skydiving adventure and inside a rock star celebration of cancer survivors.

And this year, we’re excited to share with you some of the dance moves featured in the video, choreographed by Stacy Ashley:

Vote for Lexington Medical Center’s Pink Glove Dance by going to www.pinkglovedance.com, searching on the “L-M” age for LMC and clicking “Vote” on our video.  You must have a Facebook account to vote.  Lexington Medical Center is the only Columbia area hospital entering the competition.  Voting for the Pink Glove Dance 2012 is from October 12th to November 2nd – there’s only one week left to go!

The winner will receive $10,000 to donate to a breast cancer charity of its choice.  Lexington Medical Center would donate its prize money to the Vera Bradley Foundation for Breast Cancer Research, as it did last year.

To take one of Stacy’s classes, check out Gold’s Gym located at 619 North Lake Drive, Lexington, SC 29072.

Shop and Support Breast Cancer Awareness

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By: Staci Rutherford

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, there are many designers and retailers that are helping to educate the masses while giving back to causes devoted to awareness, education and research in the fight against breast cancer.  Show your support during the month of October by shopping pink!  Check out some of my fabulous finds that also make great gifts:

Essie Breast Cancer Color Collection

A portion of the proceeds from the essie breast cancer awareness collection will be donated to “Living Beyond Breast Cancer,” to empower all women affected by breast cancer to live as long as possible with the best quality of life.  Price: $8.00 at Macy’s.

Giuliana Rancic for LOFT Statement Necklace

Fashionista and breast cancer survivor Giuliana Rancic designed this gorgeous rhinestone-studded necklace that represents women coming together.  Twenty-five percent of full-price purchases of the necklace will go directly to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation®.  Price: $69.50 at LOFT.

Coach BCA Multi Mix Key Ring

Coach’s limited edition jeweled key ring, a collection of luxuriously enameled signature charms suspended from a delicate silver-plated chain. During the month of October, Coach will donate 20% of this purchase to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Price: $58.00 at Coach.

Tory Burch Limited-Edition Pink Hardshell Phone Case

Tory Burch partnered with The Breast Cancer Research Foundation® to create this exclusive hardshell iPhone 4/4S case, in a graphic pink needlepoint print. Price: $48.00 at ToryBurch.com.

BCRF iPad Sleeve – Canvas Pop-Up Pink

Designed to support the Breast Cancer Research Foundation’s efforts to find a cure, this cute, canvas iPad sleeve is inscribed with an inspiring message.  It’s made of cotton canvas/leather and fits iPad 2 models. $15 from sale of each iPad cover benefits the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Price: $35.00 at Bloomingdales.com.

Awake “Live Love Hope” Tee

From October 1st through October 31st, 10% of the net sales from the Awake tee will be donated to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation®. Price: $24.00 at Macy’s.

Belk Breast Cancer Awareness collection

Belk has partnered with Susan G. Komen for the Cure® and has pledged a $3 million donation minimum over 3 years for the fight against breast cancer.  Visit your local Belk to shop the collection of apparel, accessories, home and beauty items.

For the second year in a row, Lexington Medical Center is entering the international Pink Glove Dance video contest sponsored by Medline Industries, Inc.  The project honors cancer survivors and raises awareness about breast cancer. To view and vote for Lexington Medical Center’s video, go to pinkglovedance.com.

Miscarriage

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By: Crissie Miller Kirby

I will never, ever forget that day – Friday, March 16, 2007.  I was 11 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and scheduled for a routine ultrasound.  My nerves were a wreck.  My husband had been away for 3 weeks working a shift of border patrol for the SC National Guard, and I had experienced some spotting during that time.  It was nothing major and the midwife had assured me that if it stopped on its own that everything was most likely fine, but we would make sure when I came in for my appointment on the 16th.

The nurse came to the door and said that my doctor was running late after his shift at the hospital; I could either reschedule my appointment or wait.  I immediately said that I wanted to wait because I’d been having some issues and wanted to make sure that everything was okay.

When he arrived, we went back in the exam room and my OB started the ultrasound.  At 11 weeks, we should have been able to see some sign of the baby, but couldn’t.  He switched from the external ultrasound to the vaginal ultrasound, thinking maybe my dates were wrong and I wasn’t as far along as we had originally suspected.  However, our fears were realized when he said that while the gestational sac was present, there was no baby; it had not developed.  Tears flooded my eyes.  I was heartbroken.  I was devastated.

My OB-GYN and his staff were absolutely wonderful.  They hugged me and offered their condolences and words of consolation and prayers.  The decision about how to proceed was left to us; we could wait for my body to realize that there was no baby to support and it would begin the miscarriage process on its own or I could schedule a D&C.  The uncertainty of when that might happen, combined with the fact that Pierce was only 15 months old caused us to schedule a D&C for the following Monday.

We left the doctor’s office in tears and headed back to my office.  I couldn’t face anyone right then, so my husband went in to tell my co-workers what had taken place and that I would not be back that day.  We went home and made the phone calls to our immediate families and our closest friends.

I just didn’t understand why or how this had happened.  I had had such an easy pregnancy with Pierce; I was, literally, the woman other women loved to hate.  I never had morning sickness, no spotting, no swelling, and minimal weight gain.  Pregnancy had been so easy for me – how could I now be on the cusp of miscarrying?  I blamed myself.  Surely I had done something that had caused this situation.  I thought that maybe even God was punishing me for things I had done in my past.

That weekend I experienced the worst physical and emotional pain of my life.  Emotionally, I was drained, devastated, and just wanted to get everything over with and get back to “normal.”  Physically, my body began to miscarry and I wound up in the Emergency Room.  Monday morning came and I underwent the D&C.  God bless my doctor, the nurses, the anesthesiologist and the nurse anesthetist; they did everything to make me comfortable, put my mind at ease, and to keep me from getting sick after surgery.

The partial ending of this story is that about 5-6 months after my miscarriage, I became pregnant with my precious Smith and my pregnancy with him was, like my pregnancy with Pierce, pretty easy and enjoyable.  Other than the initial concerns, until we heard his heart beat, and saw him growing well in utero, it was a great pregnancy.  Unfortunately, my miscarriage also had a profound negative effect on my marriage and less than 4 years later, I would be divorced.

I share my story with you because as women we all know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but did you also know that October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day?  Too often, we neglect pregnancy and infant loss, because we are uncomfortable with it – we don’t know what to say.  The truth of the matter is, pregnancy and infant loss is just like the death of someone else that you dearly loved.  The biggest difference is that in most instances, you never knew the person that died; you may not have even known that the little person existed.  But, to the parents, that little person had a name, hopes and dreams attached to him or her.  That loss is just as important to the parents as the loss of a spouse or a parent or sibling; it can be devastating.

Even more so as, in most circumstances, there is no funeral or memorial service during which to say final goodbyes; no real opportunity for “closure.”  Well meaning individuals try to console us by proclaiming that there can be other babies; they insist that something must have been wrong with the baby; or, that it was just simply God’s will.  Their words, while well intentioned, often serve to lessen or negate the loss.  Many feel that we should just be able to move on and live life as if the loss had never happened.  Unfortunately, those losses have the power to transform families; some positively, others negatively.

For those of us who have loved and lost children we did not have the chance to ever know, we take a moment today to reflect and remember those tiny lives that touched us so immensely.